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due to the extremely repressive/oppressive nature of my trauma the only way I thought I could escape was my living in my mind, and because i felt so helpless to change any of the circumstances of my life (partially because i was so disconnected from my body) i can only change my circumstances...
i remember only a few weeks ago that a healthy person has a stream of consciousness (like james joyce ulysses)! i don't even know how to describe what i have but its not that. i used to only think in pictures, i barely have an words. just a lot of blank space and sometimes i get music in my...
anybody else ever dealt with thing thing where they are so misaligned energetically that they automatically self-repress their own thoughts and energy ... so in effect they feel like no one....
my life is good and im able to distinguish between the past and present and slowly but surely my own...
does anyone else experience their emotions are completely outside of their body? is anyone else so disconnected from their emotions/experiences at times that they just seem like pictures with no explanation?
is anyone else lacking an inner monologue/fundamental understanding of grammar and language in general that they used to have? is anyone else's 'stream of consciousness' now just a jumbled foggy mess
the lack of speech in my mind bothers me the most. i feel like my life force has been stolen...