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  1. C

    Walking on egg shells

    So, my husband and I met in an eating disorder group and have both experienced trauma. He has anger issues and occasionally has outbursts. He has never laid a hand on me or our child, but can be violent towards objects. We have holes in our walls, etc, from his previous outbursts. The...
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    Childhood Question for women that have experienced csa

    I am starting to put together the pieces of some of my past. Question: Could it burn to pee after childhood sexual abuse even in the absence of a UTI? I remember that after it happened, it would always burn a lot to pee for a while. It hurt so much that I would avoid peeing. Is that a...
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    Childhood Remembering csa

    This has been a rough week. T is out of town on Spring Break and I remembered some stuff from my childhood that I wish I had not. I am trying to process it. When I think about it, I throw up. I had to leave work the other day because I kept having images of it and was vomiting. I feel like...
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    Disclosure to people outside the medical sphere?

    Besides medical professionals, do you disclose anything regarding your past (inlcuding present embodiment) to anyone other than medical professionals? I find this chat extremely helpful, but think that a 1-on-1 conversation with someone with similar experiences would be helpful (in persom or...
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    Current therapy state

    I have been in therapy for 17 years and just now am just beginning to be at a place where I can slowly revisit (parts of) my past. It may seem ridiculous, but my first two years of therapy with my current therapist (of 10 years) were spent in silence. I would/could not talk. Currently, I am...
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    Intentionally avoiding reality

    I have the strong need to avoid reality. I do everything in my power to do so (not eat, not sleep, run obsessively, self harm, intentionally retraumatize myself, etc). I want to be numb and disconnected. I do not want my life to be real. I dont want to be that person that those things...
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    Difficulty with looking at t

    I have been in therapy for quite sometime. My current therapist I have seen for a decade. Although I see her 2 or 3 times a week, I cannot for the life of me look at her. Honestly, if I saw her in a crowd, I have no idea if I would realize it was her. I also turn away from her during our...
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    Spiraling

    I have been spiraling out of control for a while. It all began when I went to a movie in a theater for "exposure therapy" maybe 3 months ago. After that, it has been a sequence of events, each one diminishing my ability to recover. I feel trapped by the repeated loop of phrases and images...
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