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What I discovered in relationships; with or without PTSD - is that partners will compare new lovers with their past lovers, but with PTSD - it seems more noticeable and I find myself, defending "me" when accused of doing something or being like someone from the past.

No matter what jobs I've held around the country, the one thing I could always fall back on is my "writing projects." Now that I don't have to work to support myself and I have time to finish these 'projects' but lately, I cannot focus. I have a desire to work but my inspiration - muddled by...

Reading the responses and the stories of others; it reminded me how 'most fortunate' I was growing up in my parents home. Never did they do anything perverted to me or treat me cruel and not a drop of alcohol in the house. My father treated woman like a protector. Mom and I had issues but, as a...

Mumma said, "Birds of a feather, flock together." That cliche holds true on many levels. I have discovered men I attract usually, have a military background. People in general who flock towards me have serious trauma issues. Also, age is not a factor when it comes to experiencing trauma. Yet...

Recently, my youngest daughter came from Pa. to visit me in California. And the memory of her mother crying all the time she was growing up came back to her. All her memories basically are of me crying in my room, the car, the grocery store and anywhere I thought brought a tear. I showed my...

Livid, livid livid! It has been a hellish, costly flipping week - emotionally, financially and, the internal boiling pot continues it rolling boil while I struggle to use 'tools' to calm my anger - guess what? I did not want to be calm! Being calm - has not proven effective. Asking nicely...

While watching the Watchmen movie with my best friend, a scene where he boils the inmates face in oil triggered a memory - long forgotten. Shortly after my first husband (who was gay) put a knife to my throat, he moved out and I was left running the Yucca Motel in Hollywood, Ca., there was a...

For some reason with each traumatic event I've endured I have developed certain 'gifts' such as warnings in dreams of things to come, the phone rings and I can tell if it's a bill collector calling or the all is for someone else and I say, "it's for you." I also pick up thoughts. It's weird...

Despite being beaten, waking to a gun at my temple, kidnapped and sexual abused, witnessing the shooting death of my husband, being chased by a hooker with a butcher knife because I was trying to evict her; etc., etc., etc! Yes, there's more I could add to this casualty list from my life living...

There are those whose lives have been shattered into slivered pieces of emotional glass, the 'Broken People,' picking up the pieces of their emotional demise. Each broken piece is only a part of the puzzle reflecting a mere glimpse of what was lost; the light which shined in places where...

There is no explaining why these tears conquered my slumber with such distress and anger, which in itself - pissed me off. The entire morning I felt the triggers lining up - waiting for the call - ready to charge at the first insult that came my way. It's 4:21 in the afternoon. Still obsessing...

My last therapist sat and stared at me. After explaining to her that I had to recently breathe life back into my eldest son because he overdosed, she added. "Monstrous, your life is monstrous." Needless to say, I never went back. My lifetime trauma began with my first dead body at the age of...