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I agree to an extent. The ROE we had were pretty f*cked. Like the weather they changed on a near daily basis. Some areas were free fire this week, next week it may not be so. Don't get me started on requesting clearances either. I thought that was insanity. Sorta like apocalypse now if you've...

Thanks for the support, I've been very busy lately working, and getting my surgery scheduled finally for December 21st. I'll spend Christmas and New Years in the hospital, but I'll trade that to have a shot at walking without a limp again. I couldn't even begin to explain to you how alike it...

There's always been someone else, we both enlisted at the same time. She's navy, stationed overseas. We've kept in contact, and occasionally see each other. After all of that came and went I really reconnected with her. We both admit to being guilty of feeling strongly for each other. But the...

Thanks. It's appreciated. I'm doing fine, it's been a while. But when she tries to get back into my life, it's incredibly frustrating. I really hope things continue to be so well for you two. I know what it's like to carry things with you, and while we may not have had kids together, I can...

So here we are again. October 13th, it's your birthday. I haven't spoken to you since July, the last time I was home, when we were still "dating". If you want to call it that. I mean, I did. Six months in a third world shit hole, I spent every day wondering if it was going to be my last on...

The VA is a complete and total train wreck. They've been giving veterans a second chance to die for their country since their founding. I find this discussion interesting. And have debated on jumping into it. No matter what happened to you, I doubt you'll find any sympathy from anyone with a...

I don't know about time of day being a factor. At least not for me. I think night time is just kinda depressing. You're alone, it's dark, normally the temperature drops, there's no one around to talk to or to keep your mind off certain things, it's just a ripe environment for it to come out. And...

My nightmares are normally the same few events, just like on replay. They used to really freak me, but they've been going on for long enough now that I'm used to waking up in a sweat. I don't like it by any means, but hey. You may want to try to explain things to her, like an actual honest...

This subject makes my head hurt. Some gun control is certainly needed, but making it to the point in which its nearly impossible to purchase a firearm is not only insane but completely unconstitutional. Not to mention that to purchase a handgun you already undergo a federal background check...

Welcome to the forum. I can relate to you on a lot of levels. Especially the supermarket part, groups, standing in lines, any situation in which I can't watch everyone and everything for danger, is a red flag for me. I'll start to sweat, and my hands'll shake. It gets bad more often than I...

Then don't watch them. I stay away from things I know will trigger me. I made the mistake one time. Restrepo. Great documentary. Horrible for me. I got about ten minutes in. Saw the footage of their vics moving down a dirt road, and I just knew, IED. Here it comes. Sure enough they hit...

Night time is always the worst time. I always prefer to have my space and solitude. But there's no denying that when the sun slips down out of the sky, you're taking a gamble. Is tonight gonna be one of the nights I pull out the pictures? Revisiting all the old wounds? Or will I try to...

Thanks, I appreciate it. To everyone. She might for all I know. But I don't think she looks into it that hard, and if she does, she doesn't realize it. I put that shit off my chest in the heat of the moment. Sometimes I'm ashamed I put it out there. But sometimes it's good to hear from others...

Maybe, I don't know. She has a peculiar way of rationalizing things. To the point that I'd rather just not deal with the issue and avoid it entirely. Maybe that's something that's wrong, but I don't know. I'm a firm believer that there are some things you just can't make people understand...

It's appreciated, last night I vented after a long day of being chewed away at by guilt. The shame is just really that, shame. I don't want to have those reminders hanging up on the wall for me to see every time I come home, it's part of the reason I avoid the entire room. She's proud of...

And I really only let this shit slip late at night, normally so I can deny it ever happened in the morning. But here, it's out in the open. There's no denying it. It has to be talked about and discussed.

You're so proud of puts holes in people's heads for a living? Would you want to talk about it with all your friends and keep copies of my decorations on the wall in the office at home like you do? Or would you be ashamed like I am, and take that shit down and put it in a box far away, never to...

One of the major things that continues to bother me is people like my Mother. Today she sent me a picture of some hyped up masculine bullshit trumping the "sacrifice" that we made for "freedom" and how worth while it was. I had to stop myself from sending her a still from some post firefight...

@Cashew I really do like your "always forward" approach to this sort of thing. I may have to work on adopting it myself. Although sometimes I feel like there is definitely some things I can't get away from, I might be able to get to the point of being able to better deal with them. And that's...

I had honestly wondered how a Woman would fare dealing with the same set of experiences as myself. Especially dealing with raising a child. I can agree though. It is very very hard to come back. When I went home the last time I met with another, "here we go again lol", ex girlfriend from high...

"You say you are a highly trained killing machine. That's one aspect, one part of you. It isn't all of you by a long shot." You say it's not, and maybe you're correct. But when you constantly train five sometimes six days a week to serve one purpose, it is your whole life. The best way to...

I get tired of it as well. Because people thank you, but what're they thanking me for? I didn't do anything productive. The people we helped in the moment, protected, whatever. They're all gone now. Their lives have been erased by an enemy we never truly set out to defeat. The entire conflict...

You're a wise individual Cashew. I think some good could come of further speaking with you, and I appreciate what you've said already. It all makes sense. Almost like you've been there and done it already. Lol

You have too, or else it'll take you under. I'm a highly unsociable person. I've always been quiet unless I need to be loud. Especially since I got home, and realized how different I was from everyone who wasn't there. At home, I don't fit in. I'm a tattooed thing with these very visible...

I probably won't look into it tonight honestly. I'm disgruntled and frustrated. But I will make a point to look into it tomorrow, I really appreciate you taking the time to share them with me. But I feel like if I was to start looking into all that now, it would only make me think about things I...