Search results

I figured it out. Time for recovery. I have a damn good therapist. Thank you god.

I'm a sensitive mother f*cker with complex ptsd with many dissociated identities and all I really want is to be loved. I was abused mentally, physically and emotionally at nearly every point of my life because they are shitbags and I have zero concept of personal boundaries. I'm going to thrive...

This is purely the need to save someone in distress. I understand that now. I'm going to allow it because she's my kid.

She's 13. I'm not having anything. I havent learned how to care about myself. Its never been an option

I have no identity friend. I dont even mind. They keep asking what do I want and I didn't know. Then it hit me. I thought when I got mad that was my identity issue. But I realized that I dont want anything. I think my ex is a narcissist. I think she's abusive to my daughter emotionally. She...

I am way more f*cked up than i thought i was. But thats ok.

Ya idk. Alot of unknowns.

I think so. We haven't talked about money. But that's my assumption. And to pay for medical stuff and therapy. I guess a bunch of my medical issues were made automatically service connected a few years ago.

My vso said its typically taking 6-8 months, but they put me first in que. My therapist set it up. He said sometimes it goes through quicker but don't count on it. Just be happy if it happens.

Ya idk.

I didn't have a choice. It was va crisis line or jail or worse.

I've been trying to process my va evaluation. The lady was super nice. I think I kinda checked out while talking about iraq. She had this big pamphlet for us to go thru. But we only made it a couple pages in and then she started filling it out for me and cut the evaluation short. I told her...

Ya. I just got back. Some kind of second opinion. Idk.

I really f*cking hate feeling like this. I feel crazy.

My va evaluation is at 530. I'm stuck. If my brother wasn't taking me I doubt that I would go.

I had no tinnitus yesterday for the first time in over a month but its back now. This shits so weird. It messes with my head.

I feel like a dirt bag for playing it but it helps with not thinking about life.

World of warcraft. My mom bought it for me a couple days ago. I used to play it alot when I got home from iraq. I built a pc 6 or 7 years ago and I have that.

Its snailmail. I have a pile that I dont really deal with. I received certified mail about my psychiatric visit for a second opinion? I don't really know how it works. My therapist thinks I might be having withdrawal from adrenaline. But he doesn't really know. He keeps giving me things to talk...

Avoidance is a bitch. Whenever I get mail from the va my heart starts racing.

God knows I'm trying

He helped me not want to hurt people or implode my life

I made a friend on my game. Hes a veteran with ptsd too.

I feel better today. My back is sore and my elbows hurt.

What bugs me the most. Is when I have money I buy every thing for my kid. Clothes, jewelry, toys, trips. People still want to tell me "its not for her its for the kid" bullshit since when. Should I tell my kid no ask your mom she takes money out of my check before I even get it. Shit is so...