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Very often. I became convinced that I have no value or depth and that I can't provide anything similar to precious moments, meaningful conversations etc. Also Asperger's so no idea much what I am even

The dreaded date is soon and i have no desire to celebrate it whatsoever. I don't care about the gifts or attention or dishes. My appetite is barely above zero and during my birthday the one who caused my life is always grumpy for any reason. Once it was because I didn't make a list of things...

I wish I didn't cry as much, sometimes over things that aren't even worth any attention

yes i think i can relate. lots of orthodox stuff happened while i was a kid (grandma a hardcore believer) i was baptized and told by grandma that mom and i should be as much believers as she is. now that mom is studying hinduism she explains all the bad things that happened to me by telling me...

Richard Dawkins, the blind watchmaker. I used to hold onto beliefs and was into into them. But I want to learn another point of view and if do agree with it then my perception of everything might shatter and I'm okay with that

Stop overthinking about your own self. Other people are more preoccupied with themselves than they are with you. The feeling of your significance is exaggerated when it comes to things such as these. Even if they do care, they have their own perception of you that has nothing to do with you.

Get wasted if i weren't clean

Filling a notebook with info on somebody of whom consists my special interest, my hand is feeling sad but the feeling of accomplishment is existent nonetheless

yes yes well she's been emotionally unavailable for a long time if never, now that i think about it. of course one cannot push a person towards any change if the person doesn't want that to begin with. i am kinda used to it but with other people. long story and not meant to be on here at...

it barely makes any difference. dead or alive either way unavailable

i know how frustrating it is when you're attached to someone dearly and have nothing to talk about with them. the way i learned that is not the point though. what is, is that i can barely maintain a convo with mom about basically anything because she quickly changes the topic and it always...

i am not a fan of falling over in general but the fear of tripping on staircases is unbelievable compared to the former. i am clumsy as hell and have an experience of breaking a bone due to getting stuck with one of my limbs in ice, hence the fear of walking on foot during the winter. the...

Meeting place cannot be changed (short series)

I really appreciate everyone's replies in this post. I wish I could provide more details but it's rather complicated and at the same time without them not much is clear.

Thank you for your reply. It is a relief another person can relate. I am very happy that it got better for you! Yes, it is definitely in my plans to go no contact with the entirety of the family, now that I think of it mom included. I can't and pretty sure won't be able to forgive her for...

I feel relieved somebody else can relate, ngl, I really mean it. I am grateful that you shared yours. Yes they're absolutely okay to ask! Well I could say that nothing much is holding me except the thought that she'd cry and be devastated overall and the thought of that makes me want to weep...

you have an amazing mindset, i really mean it! i do agree with you on many details. i highly agree that trying to overdo art projects isn't going to do well. i don't trust myself with living beings much though because i do them more harm than good, at least from my own point of view.

I am currently making a patchwork thing if I am not mistaken. I am to knit a ton of squares and then sew them together

Hi Survivor3, thanks I appreciate it ☺️

I don't have much to live for anymore. At least it does feel so. I left my friends because I don't want to make them sad and be witnesses of my decline if it is. Basically I live to keep making mom happy, by getting her what she wants to buy, or my diy stuff. I wouldn't worry if I didn't wake up...

Yes I see some creatures bug-like or bugs per se, appearing and vanishing very quickly but I still jump when they show up

today it got even worse, i've no idea whatsoever. maybe the deal is about faulty bandwidth if the theory is true lol. i stopped caring because he must be either able to watch the tape anytime he wants or he has surveillance 24/7, maybe sometimes i am lucky and he won't be aware of when i share...

It became worse for me or so I believe. It feels as if time can't scoop me into its influence anymore. I flew out of the concept of time as well as space. I no longer feel the spans of time, the afternoon and the morning have no difference between one another feeligs-wise. I have to check things...

Dad is gone

Black desert