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Long distance works for us now- my son is in high school. The plan is for me to move there after he graduates. We see each other. A few times a year. He’s smart, intelligent, funny, kind- and worth it. I just am trying to get through this rough patch.

He isn’t coming home. There is no projected return date. This is his job, every day for the last 7 years. He likes what he does. He renews the contract every time it comes up. He has a house, 4 cars there, friends, a maid. He lives in a gated community in cul de sac. There is no war zone, not...

Let me clarify. He is active special forces- as in, he can be deployed. He hasn’t been deployed for well over a year and does intelligence analyst stuff in an office. He is a PMC- there is no wive’s club or any other support group. He’s been trained exactly as a special forces member- sorry I...

I completely agree. I have some soul searching to do.

I just got off the phone will him. He says his professionally trained therapist says I’m a major negative issue in his life and she thinks we should break up. That he is managing his PTSD well and it’s all me. Apparently, she thinks he’s fine. If that’s what she said, he is either straight lying...

I’d love to talk to him about his stressors, but any talk of relationships or feelings upset him. It’s like a currency system. Like every good day I earn a unit of trust, and I need to save up my units to get a chat about feelings or the relationship. Then it needs to be at the right time and...

Joey, I think you’re right. I probably was lashing out a little. He frequently makes comments like that, and it gets on my nerves. And I was having a bad day, and today I just didn’t feel like saying that I was just talking to myself. Honestly, this whole scenario never occurred to me as leading...

No clue, Sweetpea. I hope not. I’m by no means perfect, I admit some resentment has crept in over the years that I’m really trying to deal with. But I am so used to tiptoeing, I try to be very careful to speak to him only when I’m not upset with him in any way. But I’m human, and bad days creep...

I’m reaching my limit- believe me, I’ve thought about it. I may get to that point. I think I’m trying to hold on to see what things look like after some therapy

Romantic. He’s stationed in the Middle East, I’m in the US. Usually we ebb and flow like any relationship. That’s why I post so infrequently. But lately, he’s always threatening to break up. It’s exhausting.

He says it’s just me who causes him problems- everyone else is fine. I am just a “ not nice person”. I am trying so so hard and he’s using his therapy like a weapon. It feels like he’s saying” My T thinks you’re a problem too.” And the T only knows what he says. I dunno, it just sucks. And he’s...

Oh Lord, guys. I need some help. Haven’t posted in ages so I’ll give you some background. My boyfriend is active special forces with C-PTSD. He just started going to the therapist again ( he had stopped but things were getting so bad he knew he needed to recommit to going). He’s hard to be with...

Hi everyone, I have a question for long term supporters. After years of balking and managing his PTSD himself, my sweets has finally entered therapy. I know that the start of therapy is rough...but how is life with your sufferer after he or she has been in therapy for a while? I'm so used to...

He sent me an email saying we're a "fair weather couple". That we aren't compatible when we're both stressed out. I think it might be good we're taking a break because he'd say awful things if he got mad. He'd hurt my heart. We'd break up. But fair weather couple implies that I'm toxic to him...

Hi Texcat. I haven't seen a therapist in ages because he and I were so good. I'll make an appointment, but it'll take a few weeks to get in I'm afraid.

Thank you Lou for caring! I'm sitting here all weepy because it isn't fair how things are now. I'm having money issues at the moment so there isn't any money to really go out and try to take my mind off him. He's been my support and best friend for so long-not having him around this week to talk...

Hi everyone! I haven't posted in well over a year because things have been going so well. But that has changed. He was deployed to do some secret thing-I don't know what. Two one week deployments with only a week or so in between. When he came back he said he was still reeling from what he saw...

Sangamo, I completely understand your frustration. I wrote my dearest a sweet note as well, and he deleted it before he read it. He said it was a wall of emo text and he couldn't be bothered :(

Hi everyone- I'm still struggling with this. I've been reading about this and I guess there are three steps a sufferer experiences- stimuli, schema, then response. And PTSD changes the sufferer's schema so things that wouldn't be a big deal before PTSD become major stressors and they view them...

Junebug, I've tried the whole writing thing. Sadly, that doesn't work either. He calls it my "emo wall of text". When he sees it, he won't read it all all. And Sweetpea, you're totally right about it being his reaction. intellectually, I know it isnt my fault. But man, when any negative reaction...

Sweetpea, my problem is...even if I don't yell or scream, even if I tell him stop-just my feeling of anger stresses him. If he knows I'm unhappy, that's all he needs to isolate.It seems like no matter how I handle it, it doesn't work well. Then it's my fault for stressing him. I think I may just...

Hi guys-as the title says: How do you comminicate effectively with your partner when you get angry? Yesterday was my birthday and my sufferer did something thoughtless guaranteed to really piss me off. When I became angry, I became his stressor. He got upset and isolated the rest of the day...

Just an update: he's so much better now. Doctor put him on meds, and he changed his diet. Times like the last few weeks remind me how much I love him. Even with PTSD, he is so amazing- I don't mind weathering the tough times when they come. Thank you all for supporting me and understanding for...

Thank you for the replies, I needed some affirmation and support. Intellectually I know you're right Technigirl, but man this sucks! No contact, no apology and I'm just sad. He knows me so well, and knows when he isolates I worry. Just going to try and relax ( easier said than done)! It'll be a...

I just want to scream " this isn't my fault!!! Stop blaming me!!" I want to email him and explain how sorry I am and how I want to fix this. I want to call him and beg him to forgive me over something so small. Tell him I'm worried he'll leave me and that I'm sorry everything has been so shitty...