Hi everyone! I haven't posted in well over a year because things have been going so well. But that has changed. He was deployed to do some secret thing-I don't know what. Two one week deployments with only a week or so in between. When he came back he said he was still reeling from what he saw.
He's back, but he's so different. It's been a month at least and he's apathetic and cold. My best friend is gone and I'm starting to despair. He gets angry at the smallest thing-the last time it was that I didn't contact my friend when he told me to. Nevermind I was busy with houseguests, that didn't matter.
He doesn't answer many of my texts, starts fights. When he gets angry, he just disappears and *everything* stresses him out. Doing the standard avoidance thing with veiled threats he won't be back. It feels like it did when he was first diagnosed with PTSD-none of the ways he managed it before are working. As I write this he says he sent me a message that he needs a break, and he doesn't want contact until Thursday. "He'll deal with his shit, I'll deal with mine."
Being a supporter is so isolating, I don't have many friends to talk to anymore.
He says it's my behavior that is doing it. It isn't him-he's fine. It's me. My behavior has to be perfection or he freaks. Zero intimacy, and I broached the subject yesterday and he did the avoidance thing after he told me I was inconsiderate and didn't ask in the right way for it.
Like I said, I'm starting to despair. He won't go to see anyone for help. He's remodeling his house and that adds to the stress.
I love him, we've been together 9 years through thick and thin. But I'm losing hope, I'm tired. This is awful.
I
He's back, but he's so different. It's been a month at least and he's apathetic and cold. My best friend is gone and I'm starting to despair. He gets angry at the smallest thing-the last time it was that I didn't contact my friend when he told me to. Nevermind I was busy with houseguests, that didn't matter.
He doesn't answer many of my texts, starts fights. When he gets angry, he just disappears and *everything* stresses him out. Doing the standard avoidance thing with veiled threats he won't be back. It feels like it did when he was first diagnosed with PTSD-none of the ways he managed it before are working. As I write this he says he sent me a message that he needs a break, and he doesn't want contact until Thursday. "He'll deal with his shit, I'll deal with mine."
Being a supporter is so isolating, I don't have many friends to talk to anymore.
He says it's my behavior that is doing it. It isn't him-he's fine. It's me. My behavior has to be perfection or he freaks. Zero intimacy, and I broached the subject yesterday and he did the avoidance thing after he told me I was inconsiderate and didn't ask in the right way for it.
Like I said, I'm starting to despair. He won't go to see anyone for help. He's remodeling his house and that adds to the stress.
I love him, we've been together 9 years through thick and thin. But I'm losing hope, I'm tired. This is awful.
I
