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Myself and my T have had our ups and downs over the past few years since I began seeing her - I quit several times and I think I pushed her or did that push-pull so bad she wanted to drop me at times. I recently had to endure my main abuser at a family funeral and he was the same disgusting...

I think damaged is the wrong label to be looking to apply to yourself. Disturbed by it - definitely. And it can definitely mess up your perception of normal. I don’t know about wanting to be with a pedophile in order to connect... why? As a CSA survivor I detest pedophiles I definitely wouldn’t...

Thank you for this. I was I initially told there was no way I could have PTSD. a) I was too functional and b) my trauma happened as a child. Long story short I was eventually diagnosed with PTSD. Turns out people with PTSD are pretty good at trying to get on with things until they get a reality...

That moment of initial disclosure is difficult and emotionally provoking. And the immediate aftermath when you've walked away and are trying to sit with it and just process it alone, almost harder. For me, it made my trauma real. I mean, with it securely controlled within myself, I could live...

Funny how we all became adults as children. But we actually were developmentally inhibited in terms of growing up. I'm only now learning that I can depend on my T (someone beyond/outside of myself). And in turn I have huge fears about developing any attachment towards her, relying on another...

Yes I agree with the above. You could have received medical attention without disclosing anything regarding the perpetrator. You say you have lasting physical symptoms. Can you attend a physician now to treat this? I second the family counselling if at all possible. Based on your other thread...

Well I think the clear distinction has to be that you may have fallen into an adult role. But by no means were you of adult mind/maturity/mentality. Saying you asked for it is typical self blame and shame behaviour. That's a symptom not a fact. No matter how mature we felt or how much role...

I know we've totally taken this thread off topic lol sorry

Dead Link Removed Dunno if you can see this but revels here are chocolate covered toffee/nut etc. I love them.so assumed that was what you meant lol

It does in the UK version! Like we spell paediatrician whereas the US version is pediatrician and so on.. I had to Google fudgicles btw!

Omg I'm so sorry - bloody autotype! I meant so so worth it x

I'm glad you are able to acknowledge your feelings. Of course I don't want you to be in pain. But we need to feel those feelings if we are to begin to heal. Emotional dysregulation ime is my inability to feel or know my feelings. So I would consider feeling something a step in the right...

What do you mean by you not deserving, of course you do! I'm glad that you let it out like you did. Keeping it pent up to yourself is potentially more harmful. Every seemingly tiny thing we process takes more of a toll than I think we allow ourselves the credit for. We soldier on and go to work...

I know that defeated feeling, that we'll never get to grips with it. But here you are talking about it, engaging all of us and helping us grow in our journeys. It's all a process. Some parts pull us back more than others which help us onwards. You have given me great insight into myself. I...

Wow your post really resonates with me. I can relate in a lot of ways. The wife role and leaving home at 15 myself. It's definitely anxiety provoking in itself just acknowledging the burden that we carried as "kids". Big hugs

Haven't read all the replies. But for me I see my 5/6yo self as mature enough to be responsible for myself. My T asks me how I could think a 5yo could make such decisions/choices. I tell her I was a mature 5yo, street wise etc. Logically and from a professional point of view, a child up to the...

I agree that honesty is vital. But openness? No. You shouldn't have to open up if you're not ready. Your T shouldn't terminate on these grounds. She should support you. Build a trusting relationship first. Do stabilisation and grounding / coping skills etc. If she can't offer strategies to work...

Yes mine always tells me how she has her full faculties about her and would be honest with me if I was in anyway irritating her etc.

My previous T worked around my schedule but my current one tries to offer me a consistent slot same time and day every week. I often have to change because of my schedule which actually throws her off because she then has to ask a client in a set slot to move for me. I always feel so...

I kinda find it hard to express myself verbally. And don't understand my emotions lol. I think you should try bring it up with her because you want to work on preventative skills

Hey sorry for the slow reply. Busy week with work and just got my postgrad results so changing a lot of my work as a result.. All good though. You're back to see your T tomorrow right? You think you can try bring it up with her then? Now that things are a bit more stable for you (at least I hope...

Whoa... I am lost for words. I can't add much more. Only that I'm truly sorry that you sought help but instead are being abused by this woman. I don't like to draw comparisons but I guess I can count myself lucky despite all the complaining I've done about prior T's! I hope that your current...

I don't know that she's mandated as she told me before that she keeps her notes brief without explicit detail at times. But I do know that her team meet weekly to discuss clients. So I wouldn't hold it against her had she. She asked if I would like her to set up an appointment for me to discuss...

Ironically I told my T only last week I was self medicating just enough to get through my weekend without doing something more serious. In itself it is a form of self harm. For me, a coping skill I seldom use unless I feel really at risk (ie high SI). I know how much to take that I'll just sleep...

Age of first sex experienced?! Wow, what an off-putting question for anyone!