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Yesterday my son ran into a stick he was running with (I've told him not to do so many times but ay 7 year olds are apt to ignore you and think you are talking crazy when you say they could seriously hurt themselves. I was in the kitchen, heard him scream, ran outside, saw him stumbling and...

Terribly. Slept terribly. Had a few nightmares, and feel awful this morning. Don't want to face today. I want so desperately to sleep, but at the same time I don't want to sleep because I don't want any more nightmares. An impasse that seems impossible to get over at the moment. Every night is...

Thank you @shimmerz, I never thought of the video taping idea to look for a physical marker of "about to go". What a good idea! @Crayon, I think everyone is different and our therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists are going to adapt what they think we need to each person as an individual. :hug:

@HelenB thank you for sharing your experience with me, EDMR sounds interesting, there's only one guy who does it in my area but I've sent him an email asking him if he knows anyone else down here who does it, as his page states he's not taking any more patients. You've helped me more than you...

I've got to go out in a minute, but I'll get back to this either tonight or tomorrow morning. :)

I spent a lot of time last night thinking on this topic. I'm sick of the see-saw effect of dissociation and re-experiencing. On the one hand I want to be whole and be dealing with it and be at peace with my past and the traumas, but on the other hand I'm terrified I won't be able to cope...

Thank you @MissMacD, it really is a useful mechanism whilst trauma is occurring. I am sorry you have had traumas that have caused you to need to use it. :hug:

I can see what you mean, and I can see many examples in my adult life where I have been in dangerous situations perhaps because of impaired judgement because of the dissociation. I guess I'm a bit hesitant to trust that not being dissociated will protect me anyway, because I've always felt like...

@greenleaf, thank you for your reply. I hope to be able to get to that place you are getting to at the moment, to be able to work through the feelings slowly and not having it be so overwhelming.

This is a great term for it!

Thank you @TimeToHeal, I haven't had a chance to talk to my psychologist yet, I'll be seeing her on Tuesday. I'll have to ask her about this. Thank you for explaining what "numbing" is, I get confused between all the different labels for things, it's good to know I'm not the only one who can't cry.

Thank you @HelenB for taking the time to read and reply. If you don't mind me asking, how did you learn to live with the little girl, as in how did you learn to work through it all and bring things to a place of safety? I have no compassion for my little girl me, just hatred. You are brave and...

Thank you for the replies, sorry I didn't reply yesterday, I wanted to last night and went on the computer to try, but too much was happening here and I felt like I was going to explode.

Oh and thank you @gizmo and @Notsowild for replying, I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

@gizmo, I think for me, the past is so painful I'd rather live in this dream, hence me wondering if it's actually better that I do dissociate than not. Not sure if that makes any sense? A few years back I dissociated away 48 hours of my life, woke up in hospital having tried to cut off my ear...

Yesterday I had some pretty intense dissociative moments, as in blacking out completely, coming too in different rooms, not being able to feel my body or anything else at all when "with it", blacking out again, feeling like I was just going to start walking and never come back, and just this...

Yes, I can definitely relate with this! It's a majour aspect I think that stops me getting anywhere with my T. I don't have any answers or strategies, but thought I'd comment just to say thank you so much for bringing this up because I always thought it was only me who had this.

Jimmy Darmody from Boardwalk Empire

Sending you a can of Sandman's sleeping sprinkles! :hug: I know what you mean about wondering how you can protect your son, I look at my kids and feel despair sometimes because I want to keep them safe so badly and worry that I won't be able to. All we can do is our best I guess and try to...

My son spent his first two weeks in hospital in intensive care due to being premmie, so I'm so sorry you had to endure a whole month with your daughter in there. Very difficult not being able to be with them, I spent those two weeks crying almost constantly, which I think was definitely...

Oh, and putting on my angry music really loud and dancing wildly to it or just sitting letting it go through me. Eminem, Donnie darko sound track, Eddie Verder Into the Wild, or Florence and the Machine. I have gotten through many really rough times doing this.

Going for a walk if able, watching a movie/tv show, gaming, painting if able, sometimes being alone and other times just having someone near by as long as they don't talk. Sometimes calling lifeline or an organisation like that, doing that has at times stopped me from self-harm.

Thank you for the replies. :) I'm seeing a psychologist, sort of. I was seeing one for almost 3 years I think, then moved and got another, have had a baby which has made it hard to see her, then the shit hit the fan and my old psychologist says that she can see me again after she saw the news...

Hi all, I'm 28 years old, a mother of three. I've had PTSD for a long time, but was only diagnosed 8 years ago. I have periods of time where symptoms seem to get a bit better, fewer nightmares, flashbacks, disassociate less and so on and so forth. But at the moment I've gone from having a few...