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I am so heartbroken to even do anything music related today or even for the weekend .

So I been in s chorale ensemble class for over a month , and we were supposed to play at showcase . But due to lack of rehearsal time , poor planning , and poor communication , we had to withdraw . I am very heart broken because I worked very hard .

I would have to say . Crowds Isolation Being condemned feeling shame

Today , I was able to honestly say to myself for the first time ever that I am proud of myself for the progress I have made in my counselling sessions and in my guitar studies .

i sometimes can't help but wonder if I am setting myself with impossible standards as a means of performance to earn which I can't obtain , and that is love . For my dysfunctional family , one of my theories regarding double standards with them is perhaps they do this because they want me to...

So I met with my counsellor recently and we talked about one of my siblings . I told him how he would get so hard on me because I couldidnt live up to his standards . This is a very common trait in the dysfunctional family I was raised in . My biological mother would be hard on me , my late...

I was doing my guitar studies this morning at a new practice space that I am thrilled to have . I can practice there from 9 am to 3 pm . One of exercises is to clap back note values and sing notes of a key as part of my ear training . While I was doing my ear training , I started crying and...

Absolutely and my hope is to apply the good things I have learned and see the impact it has .

I too can be really judgemental and hard on others . I think it's common for us that suffer from PTSD to be hard on ourselves . One thing I have tried doing is to stop and think before I react . This is of course easier said than done , more importantly getting to the root of our behaviours is...

Just want again thank everyone for their feedback . I am finding it really helps and it really got me thinking about being more positive .

Well I think the frustration of me making mistakes has to do with a sibling expecting me to be absolutely perfect . If I made an honest mistake , I would be condemned and I would feel like a broken house of cards . As for genres of music , I mainly play classical , but I also play folk every...

Thanks for mentioning that Saelben. I hav noticed that too every once in a while .

That's incredibly profound ! , but perhaps something to process . I will certainly talk to my counsellor this . Thanks

Thanks Blue Orange . It's good to get feedback on this thing . I think any sort of activity is good and normal in itself . Just that if anyone ever wanted to ask me personally if I think activities that require effort are good . I would say "meh" and not really care ,it's not really important...

Hi everyone . It's been a very long time since my last post . So it was my birthday recently and I had the privilege to play some classical guitar pieces . A chosen sister of mine recently complimented me on how well I have done and that I should be proud of the work I have put in ...

So I was just thinking about gifts . Over the years, most of the gifts I received from dysfunctional siblings , I either got rid of them or sell them not long after the holidays or my birthday . Over the past year few years , I started asking myself why did I do those things . I think one...

I think it was both , especially verbally because I couldidnt make much sense with logic . Non verbally as well because of my poor login in writing .

Thanks for all the replies . I won't really know if I do suffer from ADHD until I see my psychiatrist , but all this info has helped . I also didn't mention this, but I applied for disability services Ontario . It's a organization that provides supports and services for those who suffer from...

Thanks. I am hopeing to see my psychiatrist . I am wondering however if I need to change to another one that I can see on a regular ongoing basis . My current psychiatrist I only see based on consultations , but I guess that is better than not having a psychiatrist at all . I also heard that...

Hello it has been a while since I posted here . So I like to talk about my learning disability . I have two learning disabilities . One is based on communication . I have trouble from time to time being able to use the words I want and how it makes sense in a conservation . I can speak okay ...

Hello. I wanted to share something that I been experiencing slowly the last 2 months. I play guitar every morning from 10 am to noon in a peaceful , safe , nurturing environment . When I come home however , I am unable to say the same . Thankfully with the nice weather we been having , I been...

You're definitely in a safe place to share your experiences . As mrsps said , we have a good community , and we do our best to be compassionate and help one another as best we can .

Hi . So for the last year almost , I have been telling many including my therapist that I need to be constantly productive . I didn't really say why except that I didn't like downtime . I am sure I am associating downtime as a bad thing for me because I associate downtime as one of the...

I am recovering so that I can live a real meaningful life that enriches and blesses others and that brings a sense of joy to myself as well . To do that means I have to continue to make decisions that are best for my recovery . That partly meant abandoning and forsaking all the toxic...

I know someone who just turned 50 and they been trying a lot of new things for just over a year ; trying to figure what is next in their lives . What has helped her is she is volunteering , and been taking piano lessons on the side . One suggestion is to maybe try to get into the arts or music...