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  1. jaccat

    Does what you look like reflect what you feel you look like?

    I've been working on this for a while. Simple answer is no, but that's more because until recently I never looked at myself in a mirror and now that I've started, I don't recognise the person I see. There's other issues around liking that person, too, which is a work in progress. Yet so many...
  2. jaccat

    Photography Club

    Before and during the rain -
  3. jaccat

    Gardening

    @Aprilshowers no, not where I live. Definitely a rat. I'd love to get a cat but lifestyle doesn't suit. I get neighbour's cats in my garden, but not frequent enough to be any kind of deterrent. As for snakes, they're not exactly common round here! I'm wondering if there's such a thing as a...
  4. jaccat

    Gardening

    Does anyone have any suggestions of how to get a rat to leave a compost bin? I'm assuming it's a rat as it's digging out half the contents, presumably to nest in there over winter. I've tried banging on the sides and kicking the bin, and putting all the compost back in, but it just digs jut out...
  5. jaccat

    Photography Club

    Sunrise in the middle of nowhere.
  6. jaccat

    Recent loss complicated by trauma - Strategies to pause the rumination, ways to reduce the stress just so I can function

    I wanted to thank everybody for their help with this. @Ecdysis I did look at Nora McInerny's site and got one of her books, which helped a little, so thanks. I've ended up being signed off from work for now, I'm just too overwhelmed with memories and it's aggravating the fatigue I already...
  7. jaccat

    Photography Club

    Sunlight beyond pine needles- I love seeing the world in close up.
  8. jaccat

    Recent loss complicated by trauma - Strategies to pause the rumination, ways to reduce the stress just so I can function

    @Friday yes, my work would not be able to understand that. It reminds me of when, after my other brother J's death, I requested to take half of my bereavement time over the week of his inquest. When it actually came to it, three months later, they told me they didn't actually know if they could...
  9. jaccat

    Recent loss complicated by trauma - Strategies to pause the rumination, ways to reduce the stress just so I can function

    @arfie thank you for the reminder. This is much what my T tells me to do. I'm not great at it. I'm sorry you are also going through it. @Teamwork thanks, there's lots for me to think of there. Sorry for your loss too. I forget about this. I write, but it's not been easily available to me since...
  10. jaccat

    Recent loss complicated by trauma - Strategies to pause the rumination, ways to reduce the stress just so I can function

    I lost my brother N in January this year. N and I went through hell together, he took the brunt of it. We lost our other brother, J four years before N died, our dad, five years before that. There's been a lot of loss and I know grief pretty well. N died of an aggressive brain tumour, after...
  11. jaccat

    Which Cultural Virtue/Gold Ring Has PTSD Reversed For You?

    The belief that you care for your parents as they age no matter what. Not if they haven't earned my care. It drives me nuts how often that one crops up. Mine may not be around any more but I'm not going to be made to feel guilty about my choice. I think there's something about the way I view...
  12. jaccat

    I keep scratching when feeling fight or flight

    Something I learned to do was to turn my fingers in and 'scratch' with my knuckles if I couldn't not scratch. Similar sensation but you do a lot less damage. It depends how conscious you are when doing it. If you are aware, you could try distraction or grounding with something else. If all else...
  13. jaccat

    Knowing you’re just not going to sleep tonight

    One of the things I learned during the cbti course that was most helpful was that your body regulates itself, not by the time you go to sleep, but by the time you wake up. So it's more important to get up at the same time every day rather than go to bed at a fixed time. It's more helpful for...
  14. jaccat

    Our cats

    My boys taking care of their old lady. She was some kind of throwback to an earlier version of the Burmese breed and half the size of her younger cousins.
  15. jaccat

    Our cats

    I used to have a elderly female and two younger male cats. Turns out the males round up the prey and leave it to the female to kill. My boys did their bit. She however, decided she was too old for that nonsense and came upstairs to wake me up so I could sort the problem. It was two in the morning.
  16. jaccat

    Photography Club

    Sunset over Whitehall, from Waterloo bridge, London (Big Ben to the left). Taken some time mid January.
  17. jaccat

    Dumb PTSD stuff (memory/clumsy/etc)

    I forget people's names. Not random people, I mean people I've worked with five, six years plus, those sorts of people. It's so much fun hanving a conversation with someone and finding yourself at this point where you're trying to describe someone you both know well but you haven't a clue what...
  18. jaccat

    Watching over others Day & Night -The Challenge Of Suicidal Watch

    Sort of, yeah. Not work related but I've had enough of it in family for various reasons, including at risk of suicide and there've been times when it's stopped me sleeping even though I knew in truth there was nothing I can do to prevent whatever might happen. So yeah, I kind of get it. And it...
  19. jaccat

    Photography Club

    The world in a raindrop.
  20. jaccat

    CBT is kind of gaslighty

    About NHS CBT- My T once told me that the majority of their therapists aren’t really therapists at all. Basically they go on something like a six-week course to get signed off. The good ones realise when they’ve got someone who needs more support than they’re trained to give, but many of them...
  21. jaccat

    You Know You Have PTSD When...

    A childhood friend posts a photo of you on Facebook in which you have your arm around them and the first thing that comes to mind is ‘I used to be able to touch people?’
  22. jaccat

    Photography Club

    @Teasel’s trees look like white flowering cherries to me. I had a pink one at my old place. They’re beautiful trees.
  23. jaccat

    For Those Who’ve Lost Everything... How Do You Want Your Life To Look? What Are You Building?

    I’ve been thinking about this. After my father died I lost my purpose in life, literally didn’t know who I was supposed to be right down to what foods I liked. Took me a good few years and a bunch of therapy before I started to figure that out. Eventually I realised I needed to move- new house...
  24. jaccat

    News Worldwide impact of the novel coronavirus (covid-19)

    I work in retail. We don’t give a crap about losing the odd customer. What we do care about is protecting our staff from violent and aggressive individuals who would quite happily take it out on us. Is our company to enforce the rules and risk having its own staff attacked? We can remind people...
  25. jaccat

    Needing some self-compassion

    Thanks both for your replies. Not too late. I’m not as bad as I was today, but it’s changing day to day right now. @blackemerald1 I think you’re right about the depression. It’s something I haven’t had to deal with in a long time and its return really threw me. Logically I know all I can do is...
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