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Am I the only one who is lonely but prefers to be alone???

Am I the only one who can't look my therapist in the eye?

Am I the only one who walks with my head down?

Hi Shellyb Welcome to the forum. It is so shocking when PTSD intrudes into our lives! You held it together for a very long time and accomplished a great deal of things! I believe you can get better. I believe we all can. PTSD doesn't have a time stamp. It can take years to come to the...

I fear going outside. I only go If it's necessary. While out, all I can think about is getting back home. I speed through my errands like the energizer bunny. I had to quit my job recently, too much stimulation and people! I guess practicing being out would be the next step for me. I hope you...

That's so true!

Thank you for your reply and for sharing your info about therapy. I have been through EMDR. I did it for 2 years. My T was trained in it. It was ok in the beginning but I became suicidal, dissociated a lot while there and had bad nightmares. I had to stop. EMDR is not for everyone. I hope you...

I realize that your intentions were good and you meant no harm. From my point of view it sounded and felt like a kick in the gut. It takes me a lot of courage to post here. I don't have much at the moment. Have a good day/nighyyy

I am extremely insecure and my self esteem is at a low level. This is an area where I need more help. I am sure you only gave your opinion and I respect that. I got defensive for my own issues.

Yes, she has left me before. I continue therapy with her because she understands me and treats me like I matter. Never had this before. I enjoy working with her and she feels the same way.

I am relaxed this morning. But you made me feel like I am not a good person. And that wasn't fair. Maybe you needed more info than I gave. I get that! Do you want to know why I am worried about her leaving me? Because I care deeply about her. She is an amazing caring compassionate person. I am...

P.S. Before you assume anything about anyone maybe you should stop and ask more questions. Maybe get some more info. I am sure you do not know about the times when I have called off therapy so she could rest.

It appears as if we are both wrong! I assumed she was completely closing her practice. She is actually cutting back clients and keeping a few. I happen to be one of them. And yes, you are right. It is selfish to be in therapy for me me me! However this is what she is paid to do! I am not there...

I suppose you could ask. But that may feel uncomfortable for you. How long have you been seeing your therapist? I struggle with this one too. I think it's the little things she says that make me feel like she cares. Eg. I have been thinking about you. Or I enjoy working with you. It's hard to...

I am glad to hear that you and your T will work it out so that therapy continues. It is tough work finding a good therapist. I just very recently had an issue with mine. What I realized is that I cannot live in the future because it causes too much anxiety for me. I have to stay right here, in...

Indeed! That was a good decision! I have decided that I will stay with her for now. I struggled over and over about this decision. I got angry. I cried. I got sad. I blamed myself. I have to take that chance that she may leave me stranded again. I have to live in the present and not the...

See that's what I don't get. That click. How many visits does it take to feel this? I have trust issues and I know I have difficulty letting ANYONE in to my space, self, life. Suppose I don't get that click on the first visit? Is that enough time to determine if I should move forward with this...

I am not searching for the perfect therapist/ psychologist. We are all human. But I am searching for one who is passionate about their work, has a good amount of experience and knows what it feels like to live with PTSD. I don't think that's asking too much.

Yes, I am thinking that. I am exhausted from searching for help. I hate when a therapist agrees to help and then can't. Is it me???

Yes, I chose phone work because I couldn't find anyone in my area who could take on my complex PTSD. I needed someone with a ton of experience and knowledge. She has it. Every T I have been with (7 now) lacked experience but said in their profile that they were well equipped to help.

I have been working with her since November 2015.

True, I am not used to people actually wanting to help and stick around. And I do hesitate before contacting her. I think you are right. Laying things on the table to see what happens is a good idea. And as you say I have nothing to lose. Thank you!

I just don't know if she has an agenda or a plan. Trust issues! Ugh!!

Doesn't it feel great to know that you can contact him out of session? I am struggling with this decision. There are more good things about her than bad.

But it also feels like I am setting myself up for failure.