No Clue What To Do

[Silent one]

Doesn't it feel great to know that you can contact him out of session? I am struggling with this decision. There are more good things about her than bad.

 

[Silent one]

Now it totally makes sense that she'd decide to back off from a private practice, on top of that job. A...

I just don't know if she has an agenda or a plan. Trust issues! Ugh!!

 

[scout86]

It DOES feel great to be able to contact him. Sort of? It also leads to a lot of internal debates about when I should and whether I should, etc. And maybe that's part of the point. It's kind of cool to think he actually WANTS to hear from me. I'm not real used to the idea....... It's all complicated, but so is a lot of stuff.

In your case, under the circumstances, I'd throw all your questions and concerns out on the table and see what happens. What have you got to lose?

 

[Silent one]

True, I am not used to people actually wanting to help and stick around. And I do hesitate before contacting her.

I think you are right. Laying things on the table to see what happens is a good idea. And as you say I have nothing to lose. Thank you!

 

[Suzetig]

How long have you been working with her?

 

[Silent one]

I have been working with her since November 2015.

 

[Suzetig]

I can understand why you're torn, that's about 6/7 months? Long enough to have the makings of a good therapeutic relationship but not thating in the scheme of things (I've been with mine for 2.5 years...). Was there a reason you chose to do telephone work? Just wondering if having someone face to face might facilitate trauma work more easily than phone? Body language is such a support when recognising when a T is pushing too fast too soon etc I just wondered whether that might be a possibility?

 

[Silent one]

Yes, I chose phone work because I couldn't find anyone in my area who could take on my complex PTSD. I needed someone with a ton of experience and knowledge. She has it. Every T I have been with (7 now) lacked experience but said in their profile that they were well equipped to help.

 

[Suzetig]

So given you've been looking for a while I'm guessing it feels like it's a case of work with her or have no therapy?

 

[Silent one]

Yes, I am thinking that. I am exhausted from searching for help. I hate when a therapist agrees to help and then can't. Is it me???

 

[Silent one]

I am not searching for the perfect therapist/ psychologist. We are all human. But I am searching for one who is passionate about their work, has a good amount of experience and knows what it feels like to live with PTSD. I don't think that's asking too much.

 

[Suzetig]

While a lot of therapists have their own histories I doubt many will talk openly about it to their clients so you may never know whether they know what it's like to live with PTSD. They do need to be able to hear what it's like for you to live with PTSD, which is a different thing.

I can understand your desire for someone experienced but that can look different too, eg someone who qualified 10 years ago and has averaged 5 clients a week with two lots of parental leave may look more experienced than someone who qualified two years ago but they might have averaged 20 clients a week with no break. What I've found has worked is seeing whether we "click" or not, I also explore whether they have regular supervision which means that if they do feel out of their depth, they have support to deal with it, gain knowledge etc.

It's not easy to find someone so I understand your reluctance to let this T go, I hope you come to the right decision for you.