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I feel stupid, grumpy, I don't belong anywhere but I apparently do. Im not me anymore, I dunno.

hey, Try think about your breathing, and maybe have some music that you like on? Just a couple of things that might help you keep focused. The faint could be not breathing enough, if your taking a long time chewing / zoned out.

I also suffer from this, Im in mid 30's now. I was never good with dates and times but that seemed to be something else, not understanding numbers. Since abuse trauma and PTSD in late 20's, its like my brain was wrecked. I get so frustrated and depressed, because I know I could do stuff before...

Hello, Ive been told I have hypermobility, and that the best way is to strengthen and coordinate muscles. So I find pain tends to go away when: 1) I put Turmeric / Curcumin in my food: like a half teaspoon in my morning smoothie, in curry dinner, etc. It needs to be 'proper' stuff, not the...

Oh dear, that does actually sounds like me... :( Iv never had cough medicine whilst on antimalarials to compare though.

Iv seen a number of therapists over the years, Ive been attacked by men before and after therapies, and each therapist has had a differing point of view. I have to say that the last therapist blatantly said that it was my fault, because I come across weak. I wanted to punch her in the face, but...

Hi, Im not sure what kind of narcissist you mean (just self obsessed and selfish? or plus abusive) and I don't have any definite answers but here's what Iv done being stuck with an abusive mum. Ive gone to as many therapies, assertiveness courses and other confidence courses I can find and...

Hi Argo32, I empathise with you here; one of my abusers was a well practised sociopath who did similar things to what you describe (said he deliberately learned how to manipulate and hurt people, admitting why he did this and that to me) and also made recordings, manipulated others to think...

Thankyou everyone it makes more sense now, I will ditch 'the diagnosis'. Simply Simon - you really rang bells for me there, as my mum ticks all the boxes for the same and has been abusive much of the time. Through dissociative amnesia I can't remember what I was like as a very young child -...

I came across a test for Autism and PDA through a link on facebook, it is on a bloggers site who has pathological demand avoidance - I had never heard of this before. I followed the tests with curiosity: for PDA I got a 'likely to have it', and for Autism I got nearly full marks, 'very likey...

thankyou for your encouragement and insight into what is going on with these assessments. I will send a letter tomorrow, there is no website so will be a slow process.

Will try.... and politely

So I had a review of my illnesses last week by the benefits people, and today I get a letter of what the assessor said - he lied from start to finish, basically saying that I had said how fantastic Im doing, out all the time, fit and healthy and enjoying life, lie lie lie lies. I never said...

Nervous laugh, happens at most innappropriate times... also crying laughter too, but not in the happy way, like too much emotion.

I've had multiple traumas since young childhood, been told I have cPTSD after major adult trauma but not BPD even though reading about BPD and going through the listed symptoms recently matches me to 5/ 6 of them. My mum definitely matches BPD amongst other things. Im not going to look for help...

I found an online test a while ago on face blindness and result for me was 'lower than average' - it didnt give long to remember the faces though. I get people mixed up quite easily, I have called people by the wrong name for months before, often I only remember one letter from names of things...

I get this, I think its pretty normal to sense others without physically feeling/hearing/seeing their presence - like looking at someone and then they look over or vice versa?

Like everyone has said here, it really wasn't your fault; you've survived so much torture, it's time to rest and heal and learn. It may be a very gradual process to believe in yourself, and get to the stage where it actually feels that you were not given a choice - being brainwashed to...

Thankyou so much, i really needed reassurance. Not going back.

Thankyou DogwoodTree, yes I didn't feel safe, and it has been very confusing - spent years of counselling to undo a lifetime of people controlling me and telling me im this and that, I am always analyzing my behaviour because of it; and this therapist treats me like I have never even considered...

Hi, my second post here after my intro post, where I talked about a emdr therapist I was unsure about and deciding whether to go back. I did go back, and this time T wanted me there yesterday and today. Iv been finding it quite hard to talk to her, and have been more depressed and exhausted...

Iv noticed, talking to both old school friends and meeting new people, that so many have 'rose tinted sunglasses' on. They just dont see abuse, they blank it out or they think the victim should be blamed even if they are a child. Iv read this to be apathy? So things just get worse - and for us...

Sorry I keep editing this answer! Simply answered, I'd say yes. Learn to recognis it, and then learn to not follow the game - otherwise may likely happen again in future relationships. And it can sound selfish - like for me, I know my nephew is growing up with a very dysfunctional / toxic...

I guess it depends what way your looking at it then - I guess cults have a financial/ community power gain too? When it comes to analysing abusive and narcissistic people, I found Lundy Bancroft book very helpful - he explains the 'background' to domestic abuse in his 'why does he(or she) do...

Hi Shimmerz and peeps, I agree with She Cat - I'v just come here today because my narcissist mother is driving me nuts again, over me babysitting my nephew. It has always been a thing with her family, for someone to be 'god' and respected whatever their behaviour, and for one family member to...