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Nicolette, I found what you wrote in your post very true. When I came across this forum and started reading through the posts, the questions asked by others were similar to those in my own mind and I eagerly read the advice that was given. I thought that some of that advice was rather harsh and...

Nicolette, I think that maybe you have a point there and to a degree this was one of the reasons behind my reluctance, even though I wasn't quite aware of it. But the main reason is because he is now deployed and that takes a big toll on him - I guess I was using it as an excuse for his...

Shoka, I really appreciate you've shared your experience. I defintely know what you mean about the resentment, at times I really feel I'm slowly "burning out". I have to start doing this, for the good of both of us. Your post reassures me that will likely work out better than just taking the...

Wow, that's a kind of a revelation to me, because I've always felt the same way as Shoka. That when I let him unload at least some of his frustration on me, it gives him some release. And there have been cases supporting this - after he lashed out on me, he calmed down and we could focus on...

Your post made me cry refresh, because it hits home so much. I feel like I could say the exactly same words about my honey.

I guess my answer is not going to be much of a help, but I just wanted to say that I'm struggling with nastiness too. I've learned recently that as Shiraz says, abusive behaviour is not acceptable - though it's not easy to actually enforce that. I'm trying to figure out how to do it. As for...

I only recently started being aware of the fact that I can't accept abuse hiding behind the ptsd excuse. I'm finding it difficult though to define when it's just an excuse and when it really is the cause. i read through a few topics here and definition that seems to form would be that i should...