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I like fiction usually British crime. I like the fire on, where I live is very cold. I like the dark because it's peaceful. I'm not scared in my own house, it's leaving the house I find exhausting and unsafe.

Hi great to read your post. I suffer from cptsd and somatic symptoms. I won't go on about but I'm 60 and it goes back 60 years. I a qualified counsellor with a Masters but I have never practiced as I was too messed up. Anyway i do a lot of research and came across the vagus nerve recently. I had...

Hi Purple I think you have tried to see your abuse from everyone else's story. I am the same but I have learned people lie or the remember things to suit themselves. Both of your parents sound abusive to me. Given that your father threatened to put his fingers up your bottom and also that he...

I was suffering from this for months. I finally increased my thyroid medication and it went away. If you haven't had your thyroid checked it could be a possible cause. Good luck.

Had this problem all my life. Would rather be in bed than anywhere else. Safe and stress free.

This sounds exactly like the way my sister and I interact. It's crazy making. We are no longer in contact. It's a long story. I love her but she has never believed it. I don't care anymore. I really couldn't cope with her. I think she has something wrong with her but she would never admit it. I...

Hi just wanted say hi. I don't have these issues but feel for you. I really can't relate to a mother who would do this. To me it is unbelievable. I would be beyond angry if I were in your shoes. Best wishes.

Thank you Tornadic thoughts. Glad you have found a better lifestyle. Love your last sentence. Totally relate.

Yes I'm with you on that Crowfeather

Haha. I live in NZ and it's dam cold so I have a wood burner. Bliss. I love psychological thriller, I've also just read 'The Body Keeps Score' about PTSD. Was such a great book. Explained so much to me. Thank you Leem

Thank you Deadman

Hi I've been diagnosed recently with cptsd. I'm 60 years old now. I still feel about 18. Really I don't feel grownup at all. Anyway I won't go into my past in this post but I do want to ask a question because it really messes with my head. All of my life I have hated to leave my bed. I don't...

How are you doing now missfrier?

When you look back on your childhood and can't recall one happy memory. Only sadness, fear and emptiness.

So happy you got the recognition you needed. I have found that this wasthe start of my healing. Best wishes

I don't think I could deal with this from my therapist. I too was a mere ghost shadow in my childhood compared with my sister. Long story but I have realised the intense need I have in therapy and that is to be me. My trust is fragile and easily shattered. Good luck Dogwood Tree I hope you can...

I have been there. I come and go from these feelings. It will pass. The best tip I can give you is to find a good therapist who makes you realise you are not weak. You may be broken as I am but it is fixable. I think when we get this down it a good jumping point. We can go up from there. When...

That I so hard putting on a brave face when feeling so bad. It's is also exhausting. I did it for years. My health suffered cfs, cancer and other weird things. I wish I could be of some help to you. Antidepressants helped me plus therapy and being alone for periods of time so I could find...

My son was ill for years. He could swallow with out discomfort and vomited in his sleep. He was so thin people thought he had aids. I thought he would die. I felt so terrified and guilty and helpless. After searching for years with many misdiagnosis he was finally diagnosed with achalasia. This...

I can't totally relate. I always think that. Sorry for others but think I'm a fake and should get it together. Unfortunately this kind of thinking just keeps producing the same bullshit. I am learning to look on my own suffering and pain with the compassion I regard others. Therapy with the...

It's different for me. Sometimes it pleasant almost restful but usually it's horrible like I have to keep operating my body even though I'm not in it. It's terrifies me that someone will notice. I know why Sylvia Plath called her book The Bell Jar or I think I do. It's like I'm operating behind...

I like what Bearlinda said. People who aren't kind or reflective or compassionate don't worry about being bad people. You Wishforescape do. So you are not bad. Some part of your brain has been wired to believe you are bad. The therapist I'm seeing is have a bit of a hard time convincing me I...

How are you today? I too have experienced total despair in my badness or wrongness. I think now with therapy I have come to accept it's just part of ptsd and not who I am. The feelings of not fighting it or having the fight within me anymore I find quite scary too. I wondered the other day if...