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I would have been livid about him eating in the cafeteria with the rapist. I think you cutting ties with him is completely valid. Completely!!! That is horrible! Talk about adding insult to injury. I am so sorry. I'm sorry your parents weren't more supportive. Neither one of mine even wanted to...

I actually confronted him!!! He sent me a friend request on Facebook a couple of months ago. A couple of months before that, I had performed a monologue (in front of people!), detailing what he did to me and I had a video of it. When I received the friend request, after I finished shaking and...

Wow—good points. I really appreciate hearing what you said. He seems on the level but I do tend to want to give people the benefit of the doubt, obviously sometimes at my own peril. I have gone into times where I withdraw and freak out that I’ve actually communicated with him and I think of...

Thank you so much and welcome! I’ve been through sooooo much since this original post. I’ve gone to therapy, done a lot of reading, revisited the scene of the crime and our old neighborhood and school, written everything I can remember and even did a public monologue telling my story! Long...

I called today and they had a cancellation, thankfully. I went today. And I’m definitely not contacting him. Deleted his friend request too.

This year is our high school reunion, so I thought there was a chance something like this might happen. I’m going to hold on to the messages, of course, in case I need them, like if he were to start stalking me or something. I don’t think he will. He is in ill health. I don’t want to do...

Yeah-a friend request! I had just recently told my whole story in a monologue and I had a video of it. So I sent it to him. Long story short, we ended up texting for a few hours. He at least watched the video and took full responsibility and admitted everything and said he always considered it...

Oh my god, I totally can relate. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I really am. I just learned that my rapist did what he did to get back at his girlfriend who had just cheated on him with several people. He decided he was going to "move on with the cutest girl he knew". (This is an...

I did it! It was great! Really great!! I feel sooo much better! I feel like I’m not carrying that burden anymore! People came up to me afterwards and told me it helped them, or it touched them, etc. It’s only been a positive experience. I can’t believe I did it! I feel stronger about what...

A few people in the cast have cried when I've read it in rehearsal. I'm hoping that's for the reason you said, and not because my delivery/acting is so bad lol.

Wow! I really appreciate all of your support! It means so much to me! I've been super jittery yesterday and today and I suppose that's to be expected. Memorizing this has sometimes been overwhelming. Nothing like committing the unsavory details of what was done to me by memory. Ugh. I can only...

Aw, thanks, SheCat and Fadeaway! It just seems to be the right time. I still feel shaky when I tell it but I don’t think that will matter there. It’s a week away but I’m already a bundle of nerves! I go from feeling good about it to OMG WTF am I doing! I have to admit this has alleviated my PTSD...

There is a local production of something based on the Vagina Monologues, but these are stories and poems written by the cast in the production instead. I am in it and will be telling my story onstage! I’m freaking out, but kind of excited, then freaked out again. Writing and rehearsing the...

Hi Damien! Actually I was a huge skeptic and thought it was a load of BS but I tried it and surprisingly it really seemed to work well. I was relieved of the PTSD symptoms other than the intrusive thoughts but there wasn’t that horrible physical reaction anymore. I never thought it would work so...

This. This is what makes it so disturbing. That they could have but chose not to! Also this. It’s hard to see evil when you aren’t evil. At least at first. Especially when they have a plan.

OH.MY.GOD. That is awful! I feel physically sick about this. I'm so glad you got out of there and nothing happened. Oh, that is just sickening!! Wow... the depravity of some people. My T has worked with a lot of military people and I don't think she would be surprised at all. Geez, I just can't...

YES! It's a bitter pill to swallow, for sure. It just makes it that much more sinister, especially if you saw it as a misunderstanding or something that happened in the moment. After defining it that way, the realization that it was a premeditated setup is extra shocking. And you're right-it's...

I’d like to confront mine. I used to want to know why, but it’s not like he’d have a good answer. Now I want to know what I did to make him hate me so much as to bully and humiliate me for months, rape me, then bully and humiliate me at school for another 7 months. I can’t wrap my head around...

Ohhhh man, I think that might explain yesterday. I had off and on nausea all day but didn't tie it to this. I'm sorry you go through this stuff too! Oh now that's inconvenient. I hope it was over by the time you caught the bus!

Oh man-good luck! I'm glad you're not freaking out. I hope you aren't having to run to the bathroom either! Oh my gosh I was typing a response to MrMoonlight about the bathroom when you said you used to get the runs!! I've been dealing with that all morning!! :D

I guess it goes back to that saying, "The only way out is through." (That phrasing is ironic, considering that night when I realized what was about to happen and that I was trapped, the only option I had to escape would have had to be through him, which was a definite non-option considering his...

Thanks Eve! Yeah, true, but then one part of me says to knock it off (as if I can just turn anxiety off like a light) because it's safe there and she's there to help. I'm an anxious person anyway but even more so on T days. I don't even know where therapy will go today but I'm still jittery...

Don't do it just because everyone else is. If you do, do it for your own reasons and because it's what you want to do! My trauma resurfaced over the summer after decades, and I will say that I feel a little lighter after "coming out" to people, even so far as telling people who knew both me and...

Hi there! I see my T today, who I really like and feel very comfortable with, but it seems like on the days where I have an appointment with her I'm super anxious and nervous and shaking. I wake up that way, going from 0 to 120 in less than a second. I've only been going to therapy since last...

I agree with Hooper and deeplyloved about sharing minimal details. I made the mistake last night of mentioning a particularly unsavory detail of my rape. I had just had a 2-hour session with my T so I guess I was feeling talkative when I got home. Well, I thought I already had told him that...