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Thank you @Mytime & all the very best New Year wishes to you too

Hi @Mytime . To be honest I’m taking a break from this site right now but as you’ve been kind enough to write I don’t want to come across rude & ignore you. I totally understand all of what you’re saying & absolutely this is obviously how my ex saw things. Yes when you look at it from the...

Before I go from here, I know she cannot read it now but maybe someone could relay the message, @Rain was not the person I was accusing of attacking me. In fact, in this thread I defended her right to have her point of view & say what she felt. I also made it clear I agreed with a lot of what...

@mumstheword thank you. Just thank you. I can’t tell you how much the fact you’re listening is a huge comfort. This whole thread here has broken me. I came to understand & question myself & get some support, but this has ended up putting me in the worst of places. And not for the first time...

Thanks for being so amused @EveHarrington . If I remember correctly it wasn’t your diagnosing that upset myself or other people. It was your insistence that I was diagnosing when it was made clear I wasn’t. I’d recommend thinking a little before you type again please.

@Rain I am not commenting on you in the slightest I promise. I don’t know you. And I’ve acknowledged how things could have easily been misinterpreted. But there were a lot of things in your initial post that were very far off the mark that’s all, so I corrected those. If I keep going over those...

Yes @Justmehere I’m absolutely here to get feedback on choices I have made. And I am absolutely taking them on & making genuine efforts to work on them. As soon as I’ve learnt something new, however tough, I’ve began to at least try put this into place with immediate effect. Not perfect yet but...

Thanks @Rain i will do. I only started to look into these issues of codependency etc this last week so it’s all still very new stuff to me. I only found this website about 5 or so weeks ago, since then I’ve shared, read & learnt a hell of a lot, I’ve started therapy & even joining that dating...

@Justmehere A lot of what you say is absolutely right. By tolerating a lot of her behaviour I have been contributing. But this is something I’ve had to learn about literally in only the last couple of weeks. I’ve been drowning on my own in all this for a very long time not knowing what I’m...

Not at all @Rain . I’m here for people to be honest & if that’s how you read it then you had to go with that. Not gonna pretend it was an easy read! There were things in there that even my sufferer hasn’t accused me of, & I thought she’d accused me of everything!! Haha And I hope you don’t feel...

Thanks everyone as always. I will to what other people have said when I have a little more time. But I’m sorry @Rain you have really got the wrong end of the stick of this whole situation. That’s not denial I can promise you. You have read this all wrong. Now I have made mistakes in maybe...

Well I don’t really know whether I’ve made a terrible mistake here or whether I’ve taken positive steps & to hell with the consequences. For anyone who has read my posts will know I met my sufferer over 2.5 years ago. Her childhood trauma has been untreated (bar just a few sessions as a...

@krisss yes I have spent 2.5 years making excuses for my sufferer (I didn’t even get the “honeymoon period”!), because I believe she is unwell. I don’t think that has done either of us any favours. It was all with the best of intentions cos I wanted to believe in her. But I forgave too much. I...

@krisss I’m not sure I can say much to help as such & I obviously don’t know all the details of your situation or the regularity of this problem, but I can say I might understand some of where you’re coming from. My sufferer was making plans with me only to turn up several hours late or, more...

Thanks again for all the messages. Again, I’m so grateful & wish there was the time to speak to you all properly. Each thread of the conversation, each experience shared & all the questions everyone has asked, I wish I could follow them all through like they deserve. I’m genuinely interested to...

Who can say no to Gorgeous George @nursenurse ?? And that’s coming from a heterosexual male! :laugh: Yes I think it was @Hojay who said here about the ability to understand our sufferers can be a blessing & a curse. I think my ability to “understand” has led me to excusing what is just a major...

Without wanting to sound too soft, I’m really overwhelmed by all the support I’ve received in this thread. Even tho no one knows me & I am still quite a new presence on this forum, I sense a genuine concern in all your messages. To have people care about me & to validate a lot of my thoughts has...

@Scarlet13 maybe you’re right. I always wondered how she managed to be with her ex for 12 years when she can’t manage a few days with me. And she says they barely argued compared to her time with me (& I’m taking that with a pinch of salt! But it must have been at least a lot less). But she says...

Thanks again everyone. And thank you for sharing your own stories in order to help me. I’m really very grateful & wish I could reply to you all individually & talk more with you cos I’m interested to learn from everyone. But I’m aware I write too much on here as it is! I don’t want to paint an...

Another Whoops! I meant to say “digest my words” not divulge!!!

Was this when I said about allowing thoughts of not being open & honest with my partner to creep in @nursenurse cos honesty hadn’t worked for me? I’m absolutely adamant I would never allow this to be a relationship I would be a part of, it could never become a reality for me. But yes you’re...

Whoops! Pressed post when I didn’t mean to then! Thank you so much @Freida for confirming I’m not doing a bad thing here. For actually reading what I’m saying & listening to me. It seems such a simple thing but I’m so on eggshells right now cos I’m not used to someone just listening to me...

Thank you @leehalf :) Not really feeling like the butch, manly fireman I’m meant to be right now! Haha! But I’ll definitely take that hug!

@leehalf believe me I’m asking myself this same question of how I got so involved haha!! No I suppose it took about 2 months before the illogical arguments & misconstrued situations to really begin. In that first 2 months she did run away a hell of a lot, but I could see she was scared. I...

Thank you @nursenurse i can’t disagree with a word you or anyone else is saying. Just wish it was so much easier to put into practice. I don’t want to admit she’s these things. I guess I don’t want to admit I was maybe wrong about her. What goes round in my head is if she was speaking to anyone...