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Yeah you're probably right, the only thing I'm really considering is whether I want to talk to a guy or a girl about it because I feel like that could affect my ability to open up and accurately convey my experience/symptoms, other than that yeah whoever'll take me.
Literally in the same comment I replied to you I said the less sever the better this isn't something I want to be dealing with, I don't think you're judging me for sleeping with an escort, I think you're judging and making assumptions about how that has affected my life and my ability to...
Still trying to find the right person, all the different labels/practices, like cognitive behavioral therapy, confuse me and I'm unsure of whether I should do a group setting or one on one, any input would be very appreciated.
I think honestly I have my irrational thinking about the past mainly under control, I'm just gonna seek out counsel once I get back home so that I can start healing from the guilt and paranoia and symptoms I have from the event and events I associate with it, again not trying to self diagnose...
Nothing, I'm literally just waiting until I get done with school in a week to start so I can continue uninterrupted for three months rather than having to find someone new once I get back home, I just did this as a starting point for when I get back not trying to self diagnose in any way or get...
Thank you, sorry, I'm not meaning to come across as defensive its just hard for me to talk about this especially because its something that when you boil down to it I chose to do even if I forced myself to do it, so I feel like I could easily get judged for that.
Its kinda ironic I only did it...
Dude you have no right to belittle me or my experiences, just because you don't understand what might have lead me that point, you don't know me or my life or how this has affected and changed my life, and as I have stated numerous times I misused the self diagnosed and was more using this as a...
Only semi life threatening part I can think of was that the acid trips where causing me to relive parts of my childhood and would sporadically give me panic attacks making me think I was dying/having a heart attack. After I stopped doing acid it took me almost six months to break the habit of...
Flashbacks to the day of my experience I talked about in the post, including me in his bed. Again I'm not arguing I have PTSD and was using this as a starting point, self-diagnosis was a poor tag to choose, I've just felt very alone and finally decided to start looking for answers. I'm also...
I'm going off a pdf which I found online so it might not be accurate, it won't let me link it, I can't find anything saying the death must be violent, so I was saying stretch and again I'm emphasizing stretch by connecting the dots to me having to move my grandfathers body, who died in his bed...
I feel besides for a loose/stretch to fit Criterion A I heavily identity with nearly every other symptom/parts of the other criterion, again not claiming to self diagnosis myself, just trying to articulate my thoughts.
Oh no I'm sorry I didn't mean anyone here hurt me, everyone's been super nice and civil, I just meant sorry if any of my responses came across as defensive as that is not my attempt. The only reasons they might be curt is that this is the first time I'm ever actually formulating this into...
Reading the definition the only thing I could relate the experience to was death of a loved one, after the encounter I stayed in my grandfathers house because it was empty because he died recently. I slept in his bed and there was about an hour period where I just stared catatonic at his ashes...
The only other thing mildly traumatic in my life was at summer camp when I was around 10 and a counsellor felt me up/fondled me for a while over my pants when we were alone, under the guise of fixing my belt, but I don't think it was that, I didn't even realize anything bad was happening at the...
idk sorry if I'm wrong though your nine words didn't convince me otherwise, but really I'm sorry I'm not meaning to come off as arguing minutia with you. I'm not trying to sound defensive in any of these replies, but it was very hard for me to even write this post and I feel extremely...
Sorry, I'm not sure how tagging on her works, I'm not trying to say I have PTSD or saying what I experienced is worst than anybody else, I feel trauma is a very subjective thing, more accurately I would say undiagnosed might be better. Honestly at the end of the day I don't really care what the...
I'm not saying I haven't, I'm thankful for my life up to that point and for having a loving family, but can you really say that having your first sexual encounter be with a hooker is something that is the norm in most circles.
Unrelated, I don't think I got PTSD from doing acid I just think I was stupid for doing it so much and it ruined my relationships at the time, but I'm pretty sure you can get PTSD from drug use, I've read a couple articles on that.
Sorry for the long post I was just trying to explain why I would feel like I had to do that because I think a lot of the stress/negative energy from the experience has come from the events that lead to it and now my mind just focuses all of it onto that moment. I can't really describe what...
I would agree except for the flashbacks I have to the experience and how it has affected my ever day life to the point where I feel unable to accurately express my thoughts/experience out of fear of being ridiculed or judged for choosing to do that. With the flashbacks either it feels like I'm...
I'm sorry but the amount of flashback and associations I have with this experience go past regret, while technically consensual, I feel like having to pay and the whole ordeal that went along with it along with the experience afterwards and feeling completely isolated/alone away cut off from my...
Yeah I guess I had finished twice and was there for around two hours, I don't really know how to describe the flashbacks excepts that it feels like I'm reliving the experience even though I now I'm not. Like I had sever flashbacks after I kissed my ex over Christmas break and I couldn't tell...
In her defense I think she was only mean to me during the summer of freshman year because she thought I didn't want a relationship with her at the end of high school because she didn't have sense, so I guess in her eyes me dropping the fraternity was me getting what I deserved. She was low key...
I just finished my sophomore year in college, going into junior, and am finally accepting that I need to look for external help for what I'm experiencing and that I won't ever be able to heal if I don't tell anyone and keep it bottled up, trying to fix it myself. This experience has completely...