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I will be talking to him today. My session is this evening. I have spent the last week talking with people here and have decided to bite the proverbial bullet and see what comes of it. The thing that really has gotten to me is that I've never had a difficult time talking about my abuse. Of...

My situation is a little different. I was raped by a home intruder. It took months for me to even tolerate being in the same room as my husband, let alone the same bed. I ended up taking a two week vacation to a friends home out of state. My friend helped me vent my frustration without judgment...

I tried EMDR a few years back (8). I had such a negative experience I said I would never do it again. I was working with an inexperienced therapist who wanted to jump right in (without creating a safe place) and work on my most difficult memories. I ended up needing to be sedated and was in the...

I am. There have been a few difficult calls though that have left me really triggered. Typically I go somewhere quiet and focus on my breathing, go through my safety check list... it only works though if people give me space. It’s hard for EMT’s when they see something wrong to not want to rush...

He is the only rated first responder therapist in my area. He is a good therapist, I’m simply struggling with relating him to one of my abusers and need to not do that; just don’t know how. I would imagine that it’s going to either be a “rip off the bandaid” moment or a “test the waters”...

When I was a kid, I tried to tell my mom about her boyfriends abusing me. She blamed me, slapped me, and called me a dirty little whore. I never disclosed my abuse to anyone after that until I met this cop. I thought... he's a cop. I'll tell him everything and he will protect me and make the bad...

I slowly work to get my voice back, but it's not easy. Try having a department that doesn't have any peer support and there is no one to talk to, plus a divide between volunteers and paid staff. I do not have a voice, and when I'm having a bad day at the department I have to keep it to myself...

It’s a good thought. I have had lots of great advice here. I suppose I will incorporate some from each one of you during my next session and see how it all goes.

I had several back to back calls that were very difficult. As a result, my department requested that I see a therapist. I saw one for six months, but she was not a first responder therapist and when I finally ended up sharing with her one of the major traumas that I had survived at the fire...

I think there is this huge divide between logical and emotional for me. Logically I know that not all cops abuse children. I work with many officers that are amazing and dedicated more than most for our area. The therapist is a good person who has done nothing to make me feel unsafe or not trust...

I think that it is important to think about PTSD or CPTSD with compassion. It may not have a cure, but it does become manageable over time with diligence and hard work. I'm in the same boat as you... I put it off for a really long time and then I chose a career path that caused more trauma and...

I can relate to some of that story, though I do not suffer from bipolar disorder. Just know that you are not alone. I know it sounds cheesy, but It's all I got right now. I was abused my entire child hood. I was abused by religious people, a fire fighter, a cop... now I work as a first responder...

I'm new to a lot of things these days. I'm new to this forum, as well as my First Responder status. I have only been an EMT for 2 years in a small town with a fire department. I love the work, every bit of it (even when I got puked on). I don't know quite how to explain it. It's not about the...

I have a first responder focused trauma therapist. I deal with some intense calls from time to time and got a therapist to help me cope with the issues when one call in particular left me extremely triggered. I have an abuse history that is extensive to say the least and for what ever reason...