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I was physically abused and my boundaries were violated when I was very young. Now I don’t trust that I will be believed and respected. Counter: I am powerful enough to accept nothing less than respect for boundaries and genuine empathy from my romantic partners. My core belief that physical...

Gotcha! Thanks for explaining. I am feeling encouraged to post that new thread as well :) Also, is the exception about the core belief?

I’m curious, because I’m actively exploring my beliefs and distortions about my ptsd or beliefs and distortions that came about subsequently due to a triggering event that happened recently. Is this particular discussion of core beliefs/cognitive distortions in reference to being able to...

That’s pure bull. You’re dismissing the op’s expression that they were traumatized by these events because YOU don’t believe they should be traumatized. If they say they were traumatized then they were, and it doesn’t matter if you see it that way. In fact that tells me that you don’t empathize...

Your advice about this was super helpful to me about my post about a year ago, having to do with a traumatic event in which a baby sitter spanked me, but really he beat me. Albeit he performed it as a spanking, it was a beating. A sharp spank is nowhere near the same thing as a beating. And the...

How is pulling a child’s pants down and slapping an other wise private area NOT causing trauma? There’s a good reason the OP feels the way they do about this abuse.

I would encourage you to read my post about traumatic spankings as a child. We went through different things but I completely understand your reaction now to the word “spanking” or to adults hitting children. I have the exact same reaction. I get scared, angry, flight or fight responses so...

Unfortunately they did not notice any bruising. If they did they did not mention it. I also know it is possible from my experience as an adult to spank someone pretty hard without bruising them. It’s also possible I was slightly older like 4/5 and wasn’t needing too much help getting dressed at...

He did not grope me per se. He held my body against his lap a certain way and made me reposition. I was 3-4 years old when this happened. During the actual 'spanking' he hit me VERY hard. For an excessive amount of time. It was not just an embarrassing spanking where I cried because I was being...

If I'm understanding you correctly, your saying it seems like I could be blowing things out of proportion a little. There may very well be some of that in my own head, but what happened was exactly as bad as I described. I can see where people could be getting some confusion around some of the...

Honestly, if they knew what he actually did when it happened, he should have gone to prison. He beat the living snot out of me and cause serious physical and emotional pain and damage.

So when I told my parents, I remember thinking I couldn't let what happened occur again and I was terrified of him. So I went to them while they were doing dishes and said something along the lines of "Joe spanked me." And they wanted to make sure I was telling the truth. They did try to assert...

That's definitely not true. You could be fingered or groped or made to bounce on someones lap and still call it molestation even if he didn't come while he was doing it.

I’m also curious about other people in this thread. But you were the last person I talked to and the one who mentioned therapy

I’m curious what your experience is if you feel like sharing. And where you feel you are it in recovery. If you don’t wish to go into it I completely understand

everyone here was mistreated or went through some kind of legitimate experience. It’s why we are here

Well, so far everyone is way too expensive or doesn’t take my school insurance. I do get free therapy through my school and I will give it a try of course but they may not necessarily be a good fit for me for ptsd and trauma and the relationship work I’m trying to do. Also my work has employee...

I do not, but I’m looking for one currently.

I don’t know how everything me and @Friday just said makes you think I turned it into something else in my own head. It happened. Hhe described it well when he described the power and the getting off on it and not letting me go until he came. It was wrong, sexual, left a lasting mark, hurt, et...

It doesn’t seem like a leap to me. It was sexual because I knew he was getting off from it. He later me over his lap and held me there until he was done. It’s also sexual because it caused me to have a fetish. The buttocks is an erogenous zone. And he hit me for his own sexual gratification. It...

I think you’re right that my mom wanted to let me know that spanking isn’t okay but she failed to see that there was a reason why I was violently beating my stuffed animals. In her no spanking house I had been beaten on the butt in an insidious and sexually charged way but all she saw was “my...

Thanks you guys. That felt a little like badgering to me.

You really described that better than I could have. I was not able to come up with the right syntax for it. What does OP stand for?

I have not been diagnosed by a professional. I have been too ashamed to really talk about it with a therapist in the past. I’m pretty sure that is what I have though. It’s distressing and affects my life. I have nightmares and recurrent reactions to triggers even in my 30’s.

I’m truly sorry if you also felt that I was minimizing your experience. I certainly didn’t intend to. I got heated because it felt like a lot of questions that I already know the answers to even if you do not. And that wasn’t your fault. But I am 100 percent sure that man didn’t just get angry...