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find it so sad that people who have been through so much push away people who (not infrequently been through a lot themselves) want to stay and understand. life experience tells me that those who have lived through trauma, depression and anxiety are the most empathetic people on the planet...

Three weeks before that bizarre comment from her she said her daughter had grown really close to me that she (my ex partner) was worried I was seeing someone else and that she (my ex partner) didn’t want to see her daughter hurt in losing me from her life. Neither the panic about cheating...

Actually much of what you said isn’t true. No bloody obsession with her daughter. What there was was hundreds of messages from her about how much her daughter adored me how she had never been able to give her daughter a family. How much it meant to her to have my family in her daughter’s life...

Having said that I’ve learnt today that the guy that was one of the few supports she had in life passed away from cancer overnight. He was a good support to her and vice versa. She will have to have to live through that loss on top of everything else. The cancer was obviously very aggressive...

Thanks. I’ve spent well over 2000 hours of my life over the past 15 months on top of my day job on a completely Pro bono basin helping hundreds of people ripped off by a crooked lawyer (a member of my own profession). One of my clients (One of the people I’ve helped) who knew how much in love...

I can’t ask her. I just hope that someone who has maybe been in that position could seek to explain the other side. I’m going to have to take some time out from work at a time that I really can’t afford to do so, just because I’m not capable of performing to the level required when i feel so...

I can understand on a cognitive level that someone who has lived through trauma has triggers either conscious or unconscious. I can understand that something that reminds someone of something traumatic in the past can lead to a flight or fight response. I’ve had enough stuff of my own in my...

I’d give that communication a go. Don’t underestimate how hard it must be at times.

this is my view. As someone who has lived through some stuff and also been in a relationship with someone living with BPD and someone with PTSD. I have lived through the other side of the push pull behaviour. My ex partner with BPD had suffered childhood sexual abuse. A horror I could not...

I was on the other side of similar situation. Hard to get my head around it some times but reading on this site has helped me to understand much better. I wish you peace. Can’t be easy for either of you.

Hi. I’m sorry to read of your situation. my ex partner never went into a rage (not once) but did cut me off suddenly. My advice, as hard is it is, is to walk away and not contact her. My ex has money problems and opened up about fear of being all alone and having no where to go. She was...

I think you will learn a lot here. And wonderful that you have reached out with an open mind and an empathetic heart

I don’t underestimate how difficult all this must be

That must be a very difficult thing to deal with. I’ve been on the other side. As a now ex partner of someone with complex PTSD from multiple traumatic events I rode the rollercoaster for a while and then got thrown off. My ex partner said she opened up with me in a way she never had before...

If your boyfriend is anything like me it’s worth trying to explain things to him and ask for his help in dealing with things. There are men who are open and honest and kind and empathetic and who care about things much more meaningful than sex. You’ve taken a huge step in reaching out here and...

As a guy who was in a relationship with someone who has lived with multiple traumas in life I wish in hindsight my ex partner had been more able to discuss her triggers. She could explain what she had been through to a certain degree. She was much better at doing that via text than in person...

Been there and understand

I understand where you are coming from. I’d suggest just giving some space.

You have been through so much. I hope you can find support here from others. I’m sure you will.

Maybe his cup is simply full and struggles to deal with anything more

My two bob’s worth. Listen to what others here say. In my experience sweetpea is likely to say it in terms that are less forceful. Others may (and without drawing anyone out in particular just general read from this site and not specific to anyone who has responded to you) a little more...

Today is Anzac Day. The day that Australia and NZ commemorate the service of our armed services. We, underestimate that sacrifice by those who have put themselves in harms way. For those here who have served thank you for having courage I would never have. That is extended to anyone who...

In my experience sweatpea76 gives sensible and empathetic advice. I was willing to hang in there until I was not given that choice. If she means so much to you then I would see it through. I wish i was given the opportunity to sit down and talk about (perceived) issues. Agree with sweetpea.

i did. it ended horribly. i felt the same way. trusted her completely. never had reason to doubt her thousands of messages of love - that i was her soul mate. never doubted her honesty. then suddenly out of nowhere hours after messages of love it was over. i had been cheated on in the...

Hi Karen, my thoughts are with you and your son. I was in a relationship with someone i adored who lost their partner to suicide a couple of years ago. My ex partner was remarkably strong in many ways. However it became apparent towards the end that she had still not processed parts of what...