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Just wanted to say that I totally get this. I experience depersonalization too and lately it's been because I'm trying to work through anxiety I have at a certain time of day with my therapist. I dissociate any time we try to work through it in our sessions...but I have no idea why I'm...

I can completely relate to this. I experienced all kinds of "indirect sexuality" towards me (as you so eloquently put it) and perhaps actual sexual abuse...I'm not sure yet because so many things are fuzzy. This is some of what I experienced in this paragraph (just giving a warning as it...

Hey there, I can definitely relate to your experience. I experienced emotional incest growing up (bordering on actual incest) with my mother, and I'm have a super difficult time with intimacy right now. I don't have any desire at all for intimacy and it's making my boyfriend feel really...

Hi everyone, I just had my first EMDR session a couple weeks ago. Ever since, I have been having dreams about my abuser and they all have the same theme to them...it's something that I don't know if it really happened to me or not. I was just wondering if anyone has ever had kind of "false"...

Hi there! I don't know you, but I have to say I'm very proud of you for posting this, reaching out, and even just sharing that you have CPTSD. It can take an incredible amount of strength and resilience to be able to reach out for support. If you ever feel like you want to share your story, I...

Thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot to me. I was unsure about joining this online community at first but I feel very fortunate that I found it. I would definitely enjoy chatting sometime. It's nice knowing that other people share your experiences, though I'm also very...

Thank you so much for the understanding. It does help to know that other people understand it. Thank you so much for your kind words and suggestion. I definitely do confide in my sister some, and that has been helpful at times. Thank you for sharing your experience! I really admire the way you...

Hi there, I'm not exactly sure where this post would fit but I thought perhaps under "relationships" since it's about your relationship to yourself. I am 21 years old and have recently begun coming to terms with the fact that I was abused throughout my childhood. This was a very startling...

Hi there! I'm really sorry for everything you have been forced to face. I can definitely relate to everything you said. I'm only 21 but I just went no contact with my abusive mother this year. I can relate to a lot of the aspects of abuse that you outlined above (gaslighting, walking on...

Hey everyone, I recently realized that when I was abused I would dissociate. I had episodes where I would feel like I was in a dream even though I knew what was happening was real. I would dissociate at random times too, like if I was just walking through a grocery store. Most recently, I...

Thank you very much for sharing that. That makes a lot of sense. It probably would be good to think over if there is anything I wish to articulate more/differently/etc. I like that way of thinking about it because it's not something I would have necessarily thought of...like that I may regret...

That all totally makes sense. It's a good idea to maybe bring this up with my therapist. There's always so much to talk about...I feel like I could use a session every day, haha. It's good to hear that you think the need to tell people will change over time, especially as I figure out what it is...

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. It does feel unfair at times. Thank you so much for all the support and for the thoughtfulness you put behind your response. It really means a lot to me! It's nice to hear some of the journey you have taken with your friendships/relationships, though I'm really...

Thank you so much for your kind words. Your response really means a lot to me since you have had experience with dealing with relationships after childhood abuse. I'm sorry for what you have been through too. Yeah, that totally makes sense. I can definitely understand that my friends may just...

That totally makes sense. I'm sorry that you aren't getting the support you need. And I'm sorry that your anxiety and depression are intensified because you feel the need to isolate. I can totally understand all of those feelings! It definitely makes me feel like the people I've opened up to...

Thank you so much!!! :) It's really reassuring to hear that you have been here for a while and have found it to be such a great space. I feel lucky to have found it. The several people I have already talked to have been so kind that I feel welcome already. Thanks again. :)

I'm so sorry. That is a pain that you do not deserve. I think it was very bright and brave of you to join this online community so you can get some of the support you need. I really hope that you can find hope here.

Thank you for sharing that with me! It's really helpful to know that you have also had this experience of wanting friends to take up a supportive role but also knowing that they are unable to give you the support you need. We definitely are social creatures and I think we all want to be...

Hi there. I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. That is a horrifying experience and then to have people abuse and humiliate you after is so absolutely terrible and disgusting. I'm so sorry. You are a very strong person! Though I'm sure sometimes it doesn't feel fair that you have to be so...

Hi there. I'm so sorry to hear that you're dealing with something so overwhelming without any supportive friends, etc. Even though I can't completely relate to your story because mine is very different from yours, I can relate to feeling like your friends and life are moving on without you...

Thank you for responding and for your kind words. :) It's really nice to know that you can relate to what I'm going through! But I'm really sorry that you suffered through abuse too and that you are dealing with PTSD. I'm studying biology! Not quite sure what I want to do with a bio degree yet...

I am so sorry! You already have the weight of the world on your shoulders dealing with trauma from abuse and it can be completely exhausting to have dreams about your abuser(s). It's unfair because you don't get a say in what you dream but still, every night, you have to think about them...

Hi everyone, I'm a 20 (almost 21!) year old college student and I was very recently diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood abuse. This summer I decided to go no-contact with my abuser. This was a huge step for me, and I am very proud of myself, but it has come with its own set of challenges. I'm...

I'm so sorry that you witnessed something so completely Earth-shattering at such a young age. I completely understand the feelings of misery in adulthood. It can feel like the effects of trauma will never lessen and that's an incredibly difficult feeling to sit with. This is my first time ever...

I completely understand this. This is exactly what I was trying to explain to my therapist last week. When I see photos of me or look in the mirror, I have no understanding of that being me or that being what I look like. It's a very strange thing. It's like I have no connection to my physical...