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    Request to Vent, relationship problems

    It sounds like you have a good grasp on it and are doing the work! I love that for you. I’m so happy that you’re getting out and involving yourself with things outside of your relationship. We all need that and it helps with those feelings of loneliness and abandonment. I love your talking about...
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    Request to Vent, relationship problems

    I can sympathize with what you’re saying and I really feel for you. One thing I’ve come to realize in my relationship with a suffer, being a suffer myself is that there is nobody in this world that could take away those feelings of rejection, abandonment and not being good enough. Those feelings...
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    Relationship PTSD Relationship Breakdown

    Block him and move on with your life. I say this with a heavy heart because I know that you love this man and I also know what he’s going through and have a lot of compassion and empathy for him. The thing is I wish I could tell you it would change, that he’ll be everything that he was before...
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    Relationship PTSD Relationship Breakdown

    Your words and experience shared is appreciated. I experienced many of the same things… one minute he’s in love with me planning a future and the next I’m dumped and told after six years our connection was just sexual chemistry. The love bombing and gaslighting has made me feel as though I’d...
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    Relationship PTSD Relationship Breakdown

    Blu… you did nothing wrong. Your pushing wouldn’t be to a person that didn’t so easily feel pushed. I hear/heard the same thing every time I asked for conversation or communication to understand. Any stress (good or bad) was deemed as too much and any needs I had he wasn’t variable of...
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    Relationship PTSD Relationship Breakdown

    I can relate to every word. For me it’s been 6 years and this last ghosting/break up has lasted 3.5 months. If I try to reach out it only drives him farther for longer. I like you and many others wonder if this is the life I want for myself and I can tell you… it’s not. I’m still grieving…. The...
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    Relationship Seeing a therapist to deal with the fallout.

    I can completely relate to how you feel, I was in the same boat; looking to understand and comprehend what was happening. I’m in a better place with that now but it hasn’t changed the cyclical push and pull dynamic, which is what I have the hardest time dealing with. I’ve realized I can’t hope...
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    Relationship Seeing a therapist to deal with the fallout.

    It’s always helpful to gain insight for our own sense of well-being. The sad reality is the beast supporters deal with (as ghastly as it appears) is nothing in comparison to the beast that burdens our survivors. I started therapy last year and I am very thankful for it, good on you! It hasn’t...
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    Relationship Learning Curves

    I appreciate your words and wisdom. I agree wholeheartedly although it’s incredibly disheartening to come to terms with. I understand what you’re saying about emotional dysregulation, I apologize for the blanket statement, that wasn’t my intention. In my situation, it very present and in times...
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    Relationship Learning Curves

    I can only say that in my 5+ year experience it is cyclical and I have come to realize I can’t hope or fix it away. This is the reality of our relationship, his illness and our individual coping and attachment issues. We fit together like pb&j or explode like gas and fire. He is just coming to...
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    Relationship Learning Curves

    I’m so depleted and confused from the push and pull. One minute I’m the cats ass and the next I’m demonized. It’s cyclical every time stress mounts and being in a relationship is deemed as an extra stressor. No discussion… one minute he loves me, the next he can’t do it, doesn’t have the...
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    Relationship Learning Curves

    It’s been a week now of him catastrophizing and pulling away. Last week he was pleading for me to see him around the corner, telling me how I’m the only good stable thing in his life. This week after an argument that he escalated and carried on for 5 days, he doesn’t have the capacity for a...
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    Relationship Learning Curves

    After learning what IT is, I’ve learned not to take it personally. I know when he’s quiet, distant and just needs to go to bed, it’s not me. I know when he cancels last minute, doesn’t make plans or keep plans, it’s not me. I know when we argue and he shuts down completely and refuses to...
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    Relationship I feel broken .... will I ever be whole again?

    *Update* Things have been going fantastic the last few months between he and I. Every day we are growing closer and his walls come down; with trust comes vulnerability. It took us both being in therapy separate from one another to grow together. Separate from PTSD or C-PTSD we both have our own...
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    Relationship First time post

    PTSD Girlfriend…. Girl I’m going to give it to you straight. I can completely understand your confusion and disappointment. I think in any relationship apart from one that involves any mental health issue…. you need to slow your roll. It’s easy to get swept up in the romance of it all but it...
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    As strange as the comparison is it’s very spot on!! Thank you for that insight. I get where you’re coming from with the compulsion aspect. As much as I see it and can conceptualize I still feel it in my bones. I know that I deserve to be treated better and communication and respectful relations...
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    You’re all so right. I know everything you’re saying to be true. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to walk away, it makes no sense to me. It’s all consuming, like I’m an addict. I know it’s bad for me, I feel terrible about it most of the time and getting past it has been the hardest thing...
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    To add to my current state of confusion, we actually had a back and forth yesterday without anger or blaming. It was short and within it he updated me that he put his mom in hospice. Shes been ill for some time and he’s been her caregiver. He opened up and shared with me which is something he’s...
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    Thank you for your feedback. If I’m understanding your post correctly when you’re symptomatic and pushing people away and they actually go it just confirms your belief that you’ll be abandoned or rejected etc.? I wish that I could say I didn’t push or was a perfect supporter but I wasn’t. He...
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    Thank you for that, you’re right.
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    It sounds so familiar… your experience in comparison to his. My position was not that of your husband. I pushed to talk and communicate when he clearly asked me not to. I looked for reassurance because our relationship hadn’t yet developed a foundation of understanding. I made mistakes I now see...
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    Thank you for all the replies and insight. It really does come down to making a choice based on love and respect. I understand marriage and relationships are not always equal. I was married for 20 years prior to this relationship. I suppose in the end, what carries us through always remains the...
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    I definitely know my reactions contributed, I wish I had know then what I do now. Perhaps I could have recognized where my feelings were coming from and be more mindful before I reacted. I wasn’t, I reacted out of raw emotion.
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    Thank you Sweetpea for your kind words. I agree that I need to take care of me first, give myself the same time and grace for healing. I am so thankful to have found this forum.
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    Relationship Why do PTSD relationships most often fail?

    It is very difficult and all consuming. I just started therapy, for what I thought was a bit of depression from being a supporter. I was just recently diagnosed and it puts so much perspective on the last five years. I wish I could explain and talk to him about what I’ve found out but he refuses...
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