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The diagnosis is “covert narcissism” and one of its key characteristics is the desire to be everyone’s savior as a form of self-aggrandizement. She fixes! Then she wants to be loved and celebrated for fixing! The problem arises when her “fix” isn’t what the recipient needs. In this case me. I...

I'm realizing that the comparison to how she was emotionally supportive to our child was not a helpful comparison. It backfired. With her, and also on this conversation board. I don't want her to treat me like a child, I just noticed in that moment that she was effective in giving someone...

I do genuinely appreciate your perspective. It is giving me some insight in my wife. Do you really think that a spouse asking for emotional support when triggered is asking "too much"? And if it's not something they can provide, is it ok to scream that they don't want to be near you, or that...

For clarification, I was the one who dealt with the toddler having a tantrum and it was many hours after my trigger. She just took the toddler away to comfort her while I finished feeding our other children. How does a spouse asking for emotional support during a (rare) trigger put someone...

To me, emotional support is making a brief space of time to privately ask what happened, if there are any memories I want to share, how I am feeling, to validate those feelings, and offer comfort - like a hug. And then a check in once or twice later in the day... just a simple "how are you...

I have a spouse that isn't able to be supportive when I am triggered. I have done quite a bit of therapy, and usually have a relatively good handle on my trauma symptoms, but sometimes I get triggered in unpredictable ways that surprise me. Like today. When I shared with my wife that I had...