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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Hope4Now" data-source="post: 1199308" data-attributes="member: 24896">Slowly I am recovering from surgery. The surgeon did not do exactly what I asked for, and that both enrages and disappoints me profoundly. But at least things are better than they were, and hopefully will relieve some of my neck and jaw pain, and help me with my posture. Which, in turn, perhaps will help with the pain in my legs. Time will tell.The recovery has been miserable for me. Not so much because of the pain, but because of exhaustion and panic and intense flashbacks. Psychiatrist says this is not surprising, that surgery is traumatic for anyone and in particular for already traumatized people, and that anesthesia is quite toxic and takes a toll on the body. My surgery was around 5 hours, so that's a long time and a lot of anesthesia.  Today marks two weeks. I am feeling somewhat better, so that is encouraging. Going to get bloodwork this morning (YUCK) and for another follow up with the surgeon. Just to make sure there is no infection. I have gigantic incisions across my chest. Feel like Frankenstein's monster. Other than having two kids by c-section, and oral surgery when I was around 9 or 10, I have never had surgery before. I hope I never have to have it again. It does not jive well with Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, and it certainly seems to have dredged up a lot of awful stuff from my past that I've kept conveniently hidden from consciousness. I am glad it has been cold and rainy for days and days because it keeps me from getting too frustrated by not being able to get out in the garden or on my bike. Just read, rest, repeat. Which is probably mostly what I need now.</blockquote>

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