Recent content by amosmorris

For so many of us who have suffered from caregivers' lack of boundaries, I think a T's demonstration of comfort is an opportunity to experience safety rather than exploitation--and this is why their response is so key. I think there are two very legit sides to this argument. Ultimately, though...

You're so good @Friday --thank you so much for all this help. Our session was not a very good one (if only I had read this great advice beforehand...!) and I was predictably tangled up (in me) and she knew I would be and so uncharacteristically started off our session, "So did I cause you...

I have a hard-working T who has tried to be responsive even when I know I present a learning curve for her (aka a "good challenge")...I know she's been generous, that she tries very hard. Today she wrote me last minute to offer me an earlier time slot--all while telling me I could keep me...

Your T needs to be up to the challenge, @valkeasisu --and whether or not he is is not your fault. This is hard work and it requires, at least it has for me, lots of adjusting and figuring out between us and our Ts...I have stuck with my T, who has trauma exp and interest but who def does not...

Yep. Pretty much. ;)

So much love back to you, @UnicornSightings ! One of the first incidents through which I even began to understand that I had this going on--and this was not what got me to therapy in the first place at all (wow was I clueless!)--was the time my therapist accidentally messed up her appt book. I...

:hug: back at ya. Being able to recognize myself on this forum has been a lifeline for me. This is a special place.

@I'smom --first I should say @valkeasisu 's recommendation about slowing down and asking for help is so important and something I struggle with/need to do as well. To respond to your question about how I bring myself back after I check out--and I think in this way I am similar to @Deadman...

Thank you, @Incongruous. I think I am looking for an "event"--what you say makes sense here and is a help to me. I am sorry for what you have weathered and thank you for sharing.

Completely makes sense, @I'smom . I also have the hard-to-stay-awake challenge. I have tried with some success to structure this too, believe it or not: I set my cell phone timer and let myself go unconscious for a set period of time...15 mins, 20...whatever I can spare...but when the timer goes...

@UnicornSightings : I know I'm way late to this thread but I just read your first email to your T and I want you to know I could have written every single word of it myself. The attachment and abandonment pain is excruciating, just absolutely unbelievable. I have at moments thought it could...

@Deadman: Must...trick...this....brain.....;)

I set my running shoes and clothes out the night before and this begins what has been a lifesaving ritual for me of "running through it"...somehow putting the shoes and clothes out sets the rest of the routine in motion. And like @Deadman I do the morning in a predictable, ordered way...coffee...

I know some on this thread are further along in the healing process than me, and so I thought to just throw this lifeline request out there for any who might be able field: How do you mourn? What does it mean to grieve this? My T has started telling me lately that this is the place where I am...

...digging, slipping, sliding.