Recent content by Arieanna

Winter months here are the worst. They remind me of my life here as a child. My father was so untrusting and controlling of me he wouldn't allow me to have a key to my own home. So rain, snow, cold, whenever he left me outside to wait for him or someone else to let me in for hours. I often...

I've been having less nightmares lately. I feel happy about that because my nightmares are always so horriffying and graphic. I'm suppose to apply for a payee soon. I'm kind of scared of that because so many people take advantage of me. Well that is why my case manager wants me to have a...

Not really everyone I think more so focused on emotions and it wasn't much to see what they were going through. I am going through a lot of things and it felt like my art was really strong both emotional, and symbolically. I think it's because so much abuse and tragedy is tied to me. I think...

So I couldn't stay in my art group therapy because most of the people there were addicts coping with addiction and i was the only extreme childhood abuse victim case. My art was causing triggers for people when it became my turn to explain my emotions and experiences behind my art. So i had to...

It's one of those things where im comforted but also saddened to know people suffer the same thing. Having night terrors is the worse, and even the onset of it causes me to react in real life as well. I've torn sheets, fought the air, screamed, cried, even ripped out the cord to my cpap...

Every night i close my eyes I have a nightmare. I've tried listening to the soft sounds of soothing music. I've tried not eating before bed. I've tried to watch something funny or positive before sleeping. However nothing changes the the terrors. When I fall asleep, I see myself in my home...

Cold weather Snow Hawaiian shirts Lots of keys Hands too close to my face Living Rooms My mom yelling People gritting their teeth Reggae Music Any type of violence in any shows Any type of violence against animals Riding a bike Car getting to close Knives Guns being fired off Fireworks close to...

I was in therapy today and everyone was going over their life experiences in group. I felt so out of place because I had forgotten that not everyone is there in therapy for the same trauma. I was trying to give my experience and i forgotten my abuse was so extreme. I forgotten that the...

You ever become so sick that you don't think that you will live to see tomorrow. At this time I caught a cold. Except something was wrong with me that when I catch a cold it almost always goes into bronchitis. Not only that i wheeze and can't breathe. My chest is heavy and it feels like i'm...

I'm not sure how well of an order I can do these as some of them relate to years but happen in different orders. I can try my best. One of the things I have kept to myself for years is the fact that the church that I attended as a small child had a very evil man in it. He was our Sunday...

I always wonder what my parents thought of me that my existence on earth after 5 years still hadn't warranted them the compassion to stop. It's more than just the physical trauma as well the mental and emotional trauma come into play now because when my brother was born he had his own room in...

Thank you guys. I appreciate the support. It gets hard to tell the story so i figure I stop when it gets overwhelming to tell. I remember my first beating by my father was when I was 3 years old. I took apart his watch after i watched him fix it. I had a very curious nature and so i wanted...

I'm not your most confident of people in fact im scared all of the time. I live my life in fear of almost everything as it was a way to protect myself. I'm not even sure how to start this story or where to start it. I suppose a beginning helps though unfortunately as of yet there is no end to...

Thank you. I never thought of it as forsaking myself. I'm always thinking of everyone else before myself. I put everyone before me but i think it's because i've been conditioned to be that way because everyone came before me always as a child or as an adult and my needs where never heard or...

Hello, I'm new to this forum I just learned about it's existence through google to be honest. A little bit about myself I'm 35 years old and I've been a victim of abuse all of my life. In fact I don't know how life is without that abuse. Almost all my relationships with people i am the closest...