Recent content by Blackjack

Many of you probably don’t know my story, some of you do. It involved a light aircraft crash that I had to identify the victims of in the wreckage. It was truly truly awful. I have been through some very dark and hard times with PTSD but just recently have been doing pretty well. However, my...

Hello, just a quick little message to say hi. It's a long time since I have been on here. I was kind of relying on the forum and chat too much as at one point it was all that kept me going. I also think I made myself unpopular with the mods and so I quietly walked away. I have looked in and...

I am really not sure myself of how or why this is happening Joeylittle. The thing I hadn't mentioned is that I recently lost my beloved dad who I was very close to. Throughout the grieving process I have had most of my friends just turn their backs and walk away. The combination of PTSD and...

Moshputmonkey, I don't have a therapist that's the trouble. I am on a waiting list to see one but here in the UK the wait is so long. I don't understand it all myself, I wish I did. I just seem to stop myself from sleeping. I am so messed up right now. Thank you for caring, I really...

Does anybody else purposely deprive themselves of sleep as kind of a punishment to themselves? I am just not sleeping properly at all and it's largely self inflicted. I keep myself awake almost as a kind of punishment. It's kind of self harming or abusing. I am having severe problems with...

I lost my dad last night. He was 88 and has been unwell for a long time but it's still so hard. I am broken into a million pieces and can't even begin to know what to do to cope. I adored my dad. He was my world. My hubby and I live with my mum and despite me being 51 she has forbidden me to...

I could badly do with some hugs right now. I love hugging and being hugged, they help so much but I never get hugged. Sending warm comforting hugs to anyone who needs them :hug:

So very sad. :cry: Be safe, be well my friend

I have messaged you my friend :hug:

Really ironic considering the trauma that caused my PTSD but I desperately wanted to be an air accident investigator. It fascinates me totally.

Today I am incredibly grateful for the friendship of someone so kind and caring. I am blessed

Oh Bradford, thank you so very much for your kind words. They have come along at just the right time I can assure you. I have had a rough few days and feel as if I have driven away two people that I look upon as close friends. Both of them I value incredibly but they have gone very quiet and...

Trust me to find this late! Great thread @Ragdoll Circus !! This is really hard! Blackjack, you care greatly about your friends and will do anything you can to help them. You always want to put their needs before your own.

Thank you for your reply. The whole grief thing is so weird because I feel like I have already lost dad in a way. The person I knew and loved has gone and all that is left is the body that he came in. It's a really hard situation right now. Today he was muttering loads in his sleep and...

Well my dad is still just about with us. He has dropped even more weight and now even when the care staff wake him to try and get food into him, he does not open his eyes. He can no longer drink anything, he just chokes on it. His drinks are all having to be thickened with a starch to the...