Recent content by Canotia

I am freaking out in a good way. I sent in another application on Sunday thinking nothing would come of it. They called today and asked if I can fly to Atlanta on Wednesday to pick up my dog and do a condensed course. So I am totally freaking out. They said that my application was in the top...

I did the same thing. When I received my award letter from the VA I was absolutely devastated. The worse part was I got what other's want and I didn't appreciate it. I was also declared permanent and totally disabled from PTSD at 42. So after a few days of crying I went on. Now, I have...

Haley, Telling you this is very, very hard for me. I was sexually reactive as a child. I was sexually abused. When I was as young as 5 and as old as 10 I had my friends do things to me and I did things to them. I had a lot of sexual knowledge. I never made anyone do anything, but I showed...

I applied to a place called heeling heroes. Also, I found a trainer who would basically do classes with me for free and can help me find a dog. However, it would be a two hour drive (one way, four hours round trip), twice a week. I'm not sure if I am in a place that I can do that right now.

To be honest, I am so triggered. My parents are gone, but I can't come out of it. I spent the entire day trying not to cut or stab and I finally gave into it. That only makes me feel worse. I'm in flashback hell. I cannot think of a more powerful trigger than spending time with the person...

Good for you. Also, if you need help sooner the VA always has a walk in clinic.

I missed the first opportunity. I didn't say anything to my psychiatrist. I see my therapist on Friday. I want to feel better. I am hoping that I am so badly triggered by my parents visit that it will go away with them. I have always, always thought about it. I remember it starting when I...

I promise I am good till after Christmas. I would never ruin it for them forever.

you both are very sweet

That's a really good idea, maybe I can pass a note, I'm serious

It's so hard, I do have such mixed emotions. I really do feel like a terrible person, the guilt is so bad. Yet, my kids, but they are older. Sucks, I don't really want to tell my therapist.

Just under three months ago I had a serious suicide attempt. I was gradually, very gradually doing better. I was triggered this weekend and found myself starting to plan another way. I have starting to think I need to wait until after Christmas so my 16 & 19 year old can have that. I also...

I know it takes a lot to tell them. It's a lot harder to do something than nothing. Good on you! Let me know how it goes.

I go to the VA and I have been through some crazy stuff. I really didn't want to tell them about the self harm I do. I was afraid as you are that they would admit me. They have not and I now feel confident that they will not. When I told them my HR doubled and my BP skyrocketed I was so...

I've started to calm down and now I just feel selfish. I didn't intend to whine, I was having a moment. I have actually get good support from VA providers and I feel my disability is more than generous. It seems like small things just set me off these days.