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Recent content by chant2012

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    Other Looking For Ex Cult Members / Cult Survivors

    Also not to mention the near constant flashbacks and reminders from it. Fears of burning forever and that I have demons all around me. And that I'm essentially bad. Bad blood.
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    Other Looking For Ex Cult Members / Cult Survivors

    There was lots of scripture used to justify and even promote abuse. They put me I closets. Otherthings then at home too.....
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    I'm A Mess Right Now

    I'm not sure. I usually self-harm, I know that's not it helpful. I have "swings" too. If you would like to talk I'm here.
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    Conversations In Your Head

    Ah I see. I've been like this since before I can remember. I think it strted probably at 3 or so but around kindergarten/1st grade it became worse and it's been there ever since. Can I share a bit with you? Link you to my threads I've written about this on these forums? You're not alone.
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    Research Maastricht University: Searching For People To Tell There Story

    Are you still doing this study? If so how do I contact you?
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    Conversations In Your Head

    You're not alone. I really suggest looking that term up.
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    Conversations In Your Head

    Look up the term on google "Maladaptive Daydreaming" Can relate 100% to what you've written.
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    Suicidal Thoughts/images Of Death

    Been on same trajectory. Finally seeing some light. Things have been bad on this end too. Sitting with you. Can relate so much.
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    Other Looking For Ex Cult Members / Cult Survivors

    I was. Christian Fundamentalist. Very damaging stuff. You're not alone. There was so many good things but also so much trauma, brainwashing, and abuse. I was born into and raised in it. Isolated from "outsiders" and yeah lots of things. Ugh.. shudders.
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    In Desperate Need Of Trauma T

    Also, what I did was googled trauma informed therapists in ___ (my state) and finally after months found one. I too have severe anxiety and panic and dissociative issues.
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    In Desperate Need Of Trauma T

    It took me a long while too to find a good trauma T. I have to drive 1.5 hours, one way to see her. She does all sorts of therapy modalities. We finally got stablized and I ended up losing my job due to my C-PTSD (due to the same things you mentioned). But it's been a blessing after all though...
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    Triggered... Hope I'm In The Right Forum

    Sorry you feel that way. When I see that photo I also got the same reaction. It's gross! I had an emotionally incestuous relationship with my father and it brought back lots of feels of, ugh....
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    Body Memories

    I don't know if they can be called body memories for me as I have no memory(s) at all of anything that would cause the said sensations I so often get. But I'm beginning to think I have no other lable to call them though. But still regardless of what I call them, I do get sensations, especially...
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    Research Maladaptive Daydreaming?

    Have EXTENSIVE history with MDD - especially the negative kind. That's what most of my daydreams are about.
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    Research Maladaptive Daydreaming?

    Feel free to message me. Would be happy to talk there.
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