Recent content by chihayafuru

I felt last night that the online dom who I was with for at least 6 months and once went on at me to do something I didn't want to until I said yes and did it and went on at me to try it again after I felt faint cause he didn't realise it was serious, just made a mistake and I was too harsh by...

They also took my sisters abuse seriously. Cause he treated me differently to them they think things didn't happen with me.

I rely on my family I'm not going to cut them off and when I have walked off I just get screamed at

they wouldn't they give me a lecture about how i need to move on or i don't see how that could happen, your sisters have been through worse

@OliveJewel they don't want me getting help and i rely on them so i can't

my family talk about my sisters friend who is now seeing a mental health professional which she likely paid for cause her boyfriend kept messing her around, wanting marriage and babies and then blocking her and dumping her and they're being like oh poor g she's been through so much with blabla...

Child me in dream is bad and wrong. It deserves to be hit with a tree branch. It just sat there being abused and enjoyed it. (I know it was a made up scenario in a dream but after doing emdr for an actual abuse incident, that I don't remember any emotions from, I've today felt angry and...

pi told me i was probably processing emotions from the real abuse but the emotions are too strong so they are being directed towards dream child me instead cause it's safer. consciously though i still feel like i have no emotions towards the real abuse memory but i'm very angry and disgusted at...

Dream child me is disgusting. I keep randomly thinking about the dream and it's making me angry at dream child me. I'm trying to tell myself it was just a made up scenario but that isn't helping

The situation with the online guy isn't bothering me much now. I've been focusing more on trying to process a past incident. I'm surprised the online thing isn't really a problem right now and I'm wondering if part of that is cause it was kind of my fault.

Also having this problem of feeling like I'm doing things wrong and also wondering if I'm trying to process something that's already been processed, since I've felt no emotions relating to the trauma after the first emdr session I did by myself.

I don't think it's that weird for a child though would feel awkward looking back on it now. You could try focusing on more important things like dealing with any trauma or everyday things.

I can't tell if my lack of any emotion or reaction to do with the memory I was trying to process yesterday is cause the memory is processed or I'm emotionally dissociating and I don't get how to know the difference???

Ill with period

Paranoia can be part of ptsd. Only a professional can tell you if you have PTSD but you could still try dealing with what's bothering you.