Recent content by Gemini83

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    Relationship Gone from bad to worse: has anyone healed from an affair after isolation?

    Due to the military my husband and I have been living in separate states for a few years. He was isolating a year ago and he ended up having an affair. It was very short lived. At that time we had been married for almost 14 years. The months that followed were awful. In all the years we’ve been...
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    General Is it possible to come back from emotionally shutting down?

    @Changing4Best do you ever have episodes with a flat affect? If you do, typically how long do they last? Days, weeks? Also, if you do, is ther anything to do to help you? I’m not sure if I should give him space, have some contact. I’m not going to smother him. I’m just not sure what to do.
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    General Is it possible to come back from emotionally shutting down?

    Yesterday he should have gotten a package I sent him. It had all the letters and cards we’ve written each other over the years. There was one I had framed. He had written it a few years ago. In it, he was saying what are daughter means to him and then what I mean to him. I’m wondering if reading...
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    General Is it possible to come back from emotionally shutting down?

    His mother is, our daughters developmental pediatrician was strongly hinting she may end up with a diagnosis of it. He was actually diagnosed with it as a teenager but he refuses now to believe or accept it. Up until his flare up he’d been in control and never said a word which is why everything...
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    General Is it possible to come back from emotionally shutting down?

    @Changing4Best, that makes sense. When he was trying to force me to leave him he said and did some things that he deeply regrets. He told me that he was holding onto anger because it was what he knew best and it was familiar. I remember thinking that when he dropped his anger, guilt was going to...
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    General Is it possible to come back from emotionally shutting down?

    Thank you for the responses. Our situation is rough. Currently living in separate states for the last two years due to circumstances and the military. He had a major flare in March and was self destructive and trying to force me to leave him. I think emotionally shutting down is what is allowing...
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    General Is it possible to come back from emotionally shutting down?

    My husband admitted today (I’ve suspected but he wouldn’t say) that he’s emotionally shut down. He’s dead inside and feels nothing. He said it’s comfortable. He stopped therapy a few months ago. I know he needs to be in therapy. My question is; does anyone know or believe if it’s possible to...
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    Making big decisions while irrational/in a depressed state/triggered/

    I’m not sure what to say as I’m kinda in the same boat as you. 15 years together, I knew he had issues with his PTSD but I never pushed him. Out of the blue he just became a completely different person. Has stated he doesn’t love me anymore, doesn’t want to be tied to anyone, he’s better off...
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    Fight/flight/freeze - is it possible to change your default response?

    My therapist recommended The Body Keeps The Score, I started reading it last night. I’m not too far into it but it’s very good and interesting. The chapter I’m on currently is about fight/flight/freeze responses.
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    Relationship Symptomatic ptsd

    Right now I’m not good stress. I think I’m a reminder of him failing. I don’t think the yo-yoing will stop until he works through everything and that won’t happen for a while. He’s ignoring me now so I’ll let him be. I see my therapist Thursday. It’s taking its time getting here.
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    Relationship Symptomatic ptsd

    Perfectly ok and completely appreciated. I think my husbands psychiatrist is right and I’m a stressor for him. I think he is symptomatic but it’s hard to tell as I live in a different state and he’s stopped his medication a few weeks ago. He contradicts himself, he’s he doesn’t care about anything.
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    Relationship Symptomatic ptsd

    I’m sure its different for everyone, but what does it look like? Apathy, indecision, complete contradiction between words and actions?
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    Relationship Opinion please

    Right now it seems he’s ignoring me. I’ll leave him alone for a bit. He usually always does the right thing in the end. He just usually needs to time to think things over. He does not see how demanding blind trust without working for it or keeping promises is an unreasonable expectation.
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    Relationship Opinion please

    I do trust him. There is just fear with that trust now. What happened three months ago wasn’t him. He felt so bad he was contemplating suicide. I wanted him to acknowledge it so I would feel like I was being heard. He would have done that before. It’s gut wrenching to sit back half way across...
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    Relationship Opinion please

    Yep. It’s hard to walk away from 15 years without knowing you tried everything. We’ve built a life together, we have daughter. He wasn’t always this way. I’m know the man he was, I know the man he is and I know how he got here. He basically just told me to say it all or we are done. I laid it...
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