Recent content by gnirolockoob

Hey RussH, I guess you could say that, but it's weird I remember the exact thoughts running through my head at that time, and there was a lot of thoughts. It would still be a case of abuse but for me it will always be different. Well I've talked to my real doctor and everything is going...

I'm working on a personal project right now and it's keeping me busy. I don't like my current replacement doctor because she talks about the past too much, but my real doctor is back and my next appointment is with him. I'm doing better being busy but I get tired too of course, like right now...

I don't feel like doing anything but sleep and I'm having a small amount of suicidal thoughts. Not even Assassin's Creed 3 is getting me off my bed ;_;

*hugs back* Thanks :)

I wasn't feeling that bad like I can't feel emotions properly, but I guess I was since I harmed myself :/ I remember feeling a bit of wanting to see myself bleed for some reason.

AFAIK It's normal to develop an emotional reliance/dependency on your T. I do struggle with a tough girl bravado act and I wouldn't want to be too dependent on my T and neither do you if I read your post right. I think an alternative to emailing him too frequently is to write in a journal...

So I was in the Psychiatry ward for a week without privillages to use the internet (and a lot more). I dissociated while cutting my arm and I banged my head on the wall quite a few times until my step mom decided to put me back at the hospital. I got a good doctor to whom I've told my past to...

Because I remember giving my full consent at the time. You can call it abuse but for me it would always be consensual even though it hurts more to say that it was that way. I could've always stopped going to their house but I didn't.

bong

I don't know how to find the right therapist because my second one was already the right one. Since I can't verbally express my feelings sometimes I have to write them down or if I don't want to talk about a specific topic (i.e. my past) he finds another topic for me. I guess it's because I...

I'm half your age but too old for highschool, went back to highschool, had a double relapse (i'm schizoaffective) had to quit school. Don't let this discourage you just sharing my story. When I would have a panic attack at school I would go to the clinic or the school counsellor's office. Prior...

Found out the therapist/s I'm supposed to call are also psychiatrists so it's no different from going to my current one... and therapists/psychologists are a lot rarer than psychiatrist in my country. So I'm back to square one.

I'm regretting writing down my past here but there's no delete button. I guess sometimes I have to find the courage to write it down...

Prior to my sexual relations I was treated like an animal by a caretaker for about 2 years of my childhood life which I have no memory of. Apparently (according to stories told to me by aunts and uncles) I was found by an aunt and my mom had to quit her job. She hated me for making her quit her...

Alright here goes nothing. Also this may be adult rated I was in a sexual relationship with my neighbor since I was 7 until I was 13. I was also on swim teams since I was 6 (another recruited me around when I was 9). I don't really remember much of what happened, but what I do remember is...