Recent content by -lemurlibs91-

I'm desperately trying to find ways of managing my anxiety and grounding me when I'm in that place where I'm consistently struggling with intense anxiety, fear and paranoia and constantly on the verge of (or in a state of) depersonalisation, derealisation or dissociation. I used to be able to...

Ok so yesterday's goals didn't go particularly great.....did 1/3.... 1. Cook a new meal for myself (that I have planned but have delayed doing for 5 days!) - Nope, chickened out and had to freeze the ingredients 2. Occupy myself and keep myself on a level while my boyfriend is out for the...

It's reassuring that other people feel similar to the way I feel. It's horrible isn't it. And it's almost harder knowing that you're being irrational and feeling badly towards someone who could well be innocent, and yet being seemingly unable to override the automatic response. I have a similar...

Thought I'd try this today... My goals for tomorrow (as it's nighttime here right now): 1. Cook a new meal for myself (that I have planned but have delayed doing for 5 days!) 2. Occupy myself and keep myself on a level while my boyfriend is out for the evening, without going hysterical. Both of...

@BlackbirdSinging - I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and everyone in the path. Some friends and family are based in the centre of its current path and I can only imagine how difficult it must be, especially preparing to evacuate. Best wishes. I'm feeling....Overwhelmed, Scared of...

A few days ago, I found out that someone I know has just started going out with a guy with the same name as the guy who I guess you/I might say abused me. (I don't know I can't say it - it's not really relevant anyway). It has somehow sent me into a downward spiral, but until today I had no idea...

@Rain that makes a lot of sense. I just now feel weirdly indifferent to it, and yet at the same time I'm struggling but don't know what with. I feel like I'm succeeding if I get up without going back to hiding under my pillows, or if I hold a conversation with someone, but there's no real reason...

Good emotions: hope, receiving care/love (not too much otherwise I get scared!), satisfaction in having achieved something (even small like going somewhere, or managing at home on my own for an hour)

Me too, but totally unconnected to trauma or anything, its related to something else. It feels very weird!

Ok so this is a bit weird....this week in therapy I started to very gingerly approach the topic of what happened. I don't know what prompted it (after 3 years of avoiding it except for very very vaguely referencing things linked to it). I suddenly just had a panic attack the day of therapy and...

Neediness - like needing anything at all, whether it is someone's comfort, physical support (like when my legs gave way half way home after starting to talk about my trauma this week and I had to get my boyfriend to come and walk me home), or needing food (that was the root of my years of...

@Miss_Basilisk I'm so sorry that you experienced that. I also feel relieved that I'm not the only one, much as I don't want other people to feel the same way because it's unpleasant. It can seem so strange to people outside of this to understand it somehow. I am still here (and it is still very...

Thank you all. It's so helpful to hear other people's experiences. This is similar to me - I didn't even realise anything was wrong until about a year after, and that was when I was seeing another guy and it was triggering flashbacks. Now, with my long-term boyfriend, stuff with him doesn't...

I've got this constant fear, "what if I'm making it all up?" Like, what if I'm lying to myself and for some reason want it to have happened? What if I don't actually experience flashbacks, what if I just think I do and actually I just want other people to comfort me/give me attention or...

I agree with @Friday - these things serve purposes somewhere along the line. It's just like our bodies don't know that it's not necessary right now, or it's not necessary to that extreme. Things like awareness and vigilance are useful, but hypervigilance is stressful/ uncomfortable/...