Recent content by loui50

Thanks Friday. I typed out a whole email about how I was feeling and didn't send it. I'm definitely going to bring it up tomorrow in my individual session. I just feel like they are giving me so much who am I to ask for more. But then again I am paying them!

Hi everyone. I haven't been around in a while. I started an intensive outpatient program 2 weeks ago with a therapist trained in EMDR. I really like her. I do individual therapy one time a week and group 3 days a week. It happens that the days are Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Then I'm...

I had ECT. I did 9 treatments before my anxiety got so bad I couldn't continue. I have a lot of negative associations and thoughts connected to it. When I quit my whole support system, spouse, parents, therapist, psychiatrist..strongly encouraged me to continue. I went back for the 10th...

Thanks for replying. You are exactly right. I think I'm ashamed and embarrassed because I did this. No one else did. My traumas are complex, I was a cop and abused as a child. But I could safely say none of that was my fault. This feels like my fault.

I admitted to my T that I binge eat. Of all the crazy shit I've told her, this I'm ashamed of. Like don't want to go back ashamed. Want to crawl in a hole ashamed. It's nothing she said or did. It's all on me. I feel like I should have more self control and I'm embarrassed. I don't know...

I just finished tamiflu. I wonder if that's to blame. Otherwise no new meds.

So I had a nightmare last night that I was being chased by a police dog. I tried to punch the dog but I couldn't move my arm. Finally my arm moved and I punched the dog. Then my husband woke me up and was asking why I hit him. This has never happened before. Is this normal? I'm scared of...

Thanks Friday. I've walked the beach, listening to the waves. I've tried hot showers and time relaxing. I've talked it through with my husband. I'll try to quit fighting it. The first flashback really got me, I was just putting my daughter to bed but it was the day it happened. Maybe...

I've had PTSD for 16 years. 2 days ago I witnessed a horrible accident. A young man riding a bicycle rode into traffic and was hit by a car. He laid in the street seizing as cars just drove by. I stopped and stayed with the lady that hit him as another bystander was with him. It wasn't the...

I schedule my therapy appointments for early morning right after I drop my kids off for school. Then I have about 4 hours just for me afterwards. Sometimes I take a nap. Sometimes I go for a walk, preferably on the beach, sometimes a get a good cup of coffee. If it wasn't a particularly bad...

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I just want to give you some hope. After 15 years of PTSD I'm finally feeling a little better. Life isn't perfect but my therapist has really helped my learn to enjoy my life again. I hope you can find the support you need.

I'm scared to do this. She wants me to read them out loud. I did one that was a letter to my inner child. I found it very difficult. I often feel like a child at therapy. I was reading the letter and she had to keep reminding me that I'm the adult, not the child. I couldn't find my voice...

I finally told my therapist that I wrote this. She wants to read it but I'm not sure I'm ready to go there. I'm crying just rereading it by myself. I don't want to talk about it. But I know I need to. What do I do. I lied to her and told her I didn't have it with me last week. It was in...

So my PTSD comes from multiple traumas the 1st of which is childhood abuse. I fairly certain I have repressed memories of sexual abuse. Lately I've been having very graphic dreams of me being raped. I want to discuss these dreams with my therapist but I'm scared. I'm scared to actually say...

I have told my therapist about the sight. I have not told her the name of the sight. I have the same fear you do that she would find me and read my posts. She is very supportive of me using this sight and tells me to keep doing it.