Recent content by queen

In my experience with my sufferer, Yes, Yes, Yes, and HELL YES. He does not tolerate verbal expressions of emotion, does not tolerate (very well, but is getting better) physical displays of affection, and does not tolerate compliments or praise. Tolerate, meaning, he will either ignore me...

It IS a beautiful thing. It's so gut- and heart-wrenching to watch someone you love go through the storm and, as a supporter, feel so helpless to do anything about it. I think it just speaks to the strength of human love and compassion and connection, and that's why, to me anyway, it doesn't...

Be prepared for things to get worse before they get better. Trauma counseling is a lengthy and painful process. Worthwhile, but a big ole bear of an ordeal. It's opening a can of worms and trying to sort it all out and process through it. So yeah, I can imagine his behavior getting a little...

The funny thing about this, is I read this all the time on this forum, it seems to be most supporters' experience. But mine was very different. He started out so much more closed off than he is now. I mean, I could see the person he was/is, and all of the strengths he has behind his GINORMOUS...

I'm currently struggling with this myself. I've been trying to hard to give him his space, to not to be clingy or annoying or demanding, but at some point, my needs are not being met and I feel tired and sad and lonely. I can't tell you what to do, but for me, I had to tell him (via text because...

That's certainly something to talk with her about when she's back and ready and able to discuss it. I think it's certainly fair to discuss and ask for some sort of messaging around "hey, I'm not doing well right now, and am gonna need some space" instead of either disappearing with no warning or...

I don't.... Keep calm, that is. :nailbiting::nailbiting: I don't really have much advice to give, other than to say, I know what you're going through and it sucks big time. And there's nothing anyone can do or say really to make you feel any better. The last time my guy did this was just this...

@Junebug I have the same problem, most of my friends don't get it and now they think the worst about him, which really sucks cause he's not a bad guy at all. I feel like the one place that I can share stuff and people will get it, understand, and not judge, is here. Most of the things that we...

Good question. Initially, he avoided all touch except during sex, but even then, no kissing. But it seems that the more time we spend together, the more he accepts touch/affection from me and the more he initiates it. If I give him his physical space, let's say on the couch for example, he'll...

Honestly, as a supporter, I'd much rather have an honest answer than anything else, including sugar-coating your feelings to try and avoid any drama. When my sufferer opens up (about anything, literally ANYTHING), I feel so much better because he's such tough nut to crack and I'm horrible and...

The best advice that I received about PTSD relationships and how to cope was here on this site. It's multi-faceted. You need to respect his need for space and distance. Continue living your life, make plans, see friends, do self-care, have fun, do you while he does him, so that you're not always...

Question for those supporters and sufferers out there in relationships.... Is it common when in a relationship with a sufferer to avoid kissing? I've been seeing my sufferer for almost 8 months now. While he's done a lot of warming up in terms of affection (in the beginning, he avoided it like...

As someone in the field of behavioral health, I can tell you that we have so many regulations around confidentiality and disclosures it's not funny. We are mandatory reporters for things like suspected/known child abuse/neglect or elder abuse/neglect. In terms of other types of disclosures, we...

This is the kind of person I am too. If I had my way, I'd hug and kiss the bejesus out of my dude, and tell him a ton of super sweet things all damn day. I learned the hard way (almost immediately) that that crap will send him over the edge. I've really had to learn how to hold back on how I...

Not much to offer you, Miss Lissa, except support and understanding. This is the (not quite daily anymore but at least) weekly struggle for me as well. Some days I feel on top of the world when I see him making progress and coping with things better. Then there are the other days when it's two...