Recent content by Wendell_R

  1. Wendell_R

    I am asking for some possible assistance, please. Overwhelming guilt & shame.

    Complete agreement with @Movingforward10 , not just about your experience, but ours as well! We were definitely not allowed to get things wrong when we were young, with all the PTSD aftermath. We find it useful to think, "What would a non-PTSD person feel or do in this situation?" From what...
  2. Wendell_R

    I am asking for some possible assistance, please. Overwhelming guilt & shame.

    That she invited you over afterwards says to me that she wants to still be friends and does not think of you as a horrible person. I think the key here is that what you perceive as coming out of your mouth is different than what your neighbor and daughter perceive. That's a confusing place...
  3. Wendell_R

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    We had gum surgery yesterday, so we need to eat mush for two weeks. Baked potatoes with black beans, sour cream and melted cheese. Mashed sweet potato. Baked apple slices with butter, brown sugar, and spices for dessert, with vanilla yogurt on top.
  4. Wendell_R

    Does anyone else feel euphoria?

    We remember the first time we did the grounding exercises in Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation, and a profound shift happening. That was a mild euphoria. Nowadays, our female parts often feel body euphoria. For so long, being in touch with our body's sensation was so forbidden. We find...
  5. Wendell_R

    Struggling with Conditioned Responses: Seeking Support

    We used academic achievement to avoid our terrors, too (double major, then Ph.D., then mid-career M.S.). Good luck on your journey, and hope you find the right balance in your life so that you can move forward. For what it's worth, we have a government research job, and not an academic job...
  6. Wendell_R

    DID New part

    Your journey sounds like it's in the right direction, even if it's hard and exhausting. After our female parts came out, we learned that life was better when one of them was in control, but that was only temporary because the male parts' hurts and loneliness was just hidden. Then we found that...
  7. Wendell_R

    Trauma therapy confusion

    Loneliness with DID is hard. We have had luck with establishing friendship and community within our system of parts, and also meeting a few people with DID through the Healing Together conference: Healing Together Conference | An Infinite Mind | International Organization Dedicated to DID ...
  8. Wendell_R

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Granola parfait, with vanilla Greek yoghurt, strawberries, & blueberries.
  9. Wendell_R

    Write a happy story in 3 words

    Enjoyed dinner outside.
  10. Wendell_R

    DID New part

    What would the new part like to be called? We're thinking that a good goal isn't to get them back in the box, but for the you-writing-the-post part to learn how to talk and be present with this new part, and for the new part to learn how to take part in that as well. The question that comes up...
  11. Wendell_R

    Higher frequency therapy

    I can see the huge difference in therapy response between my wife, who's been grieving about her parents and has made good progress with a handful of months of sessions, versus me, with dissociative disorder and heavy CPTSD from when we were very young. Dr. Google doesn't capture that...
  12. Wendell_R

    Higher frequency therapy

    Just to second Sideways' experience, I've been in therapy 2 1/2 hours a week for a few years, which was a big increase from the 45 min I did for a long time. Recently, my therapist and I just agreed to drop to 2 hours a week for now, and likely down to 1 1/4 hours in the near future.
  13. Wendell_R

    Therapist is leaving me

    I had a therapist give me almost zero notice when she came down with a serious health issue that needed immediate attention. The referrals that she found for me were an incredible blessing--she was better at sifting through some options for me than I was at the time, and I ended up with a very...
  14. Wendell_R

    Medical Hysterectomy - What to expect?

    I'm sorry this has been hard, and it makes sense that it's been hard. Wishing you good healing.
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