Recent content by Wondering_Loner

It sounds like you really want to do the photography now, and that the social work is more of a life goal. I say this because the photography will improve your life right now and may help as an emotional stepping stone to the larger picture. Yeah it will be scary being around people, but having...

Well I have sold my car and made the leap across the atlantic. I took my co dependancy and went to the ultimate deep end as an expat. I've had good days and bad days with it. My gut still says its 2001-03 even though I know otherwise and I still do therapy via video skype. BUT I'm very much a...

This sounds like ocd to me. I had the same fear 3 years ago for months and I would interpret my anxiety attacks as hypomania. I even forced them to be sort of euphoric, but it was ll fear in the end. How long are these risk taking spells. They should be months or weeks long not hours.

Ok so they said they said no and a few days later the money showed up in my account. I landed in France and have been adjusting ok, but the excitement of a new place is beginning to come off a little and so my other issues are coming up again. Depression without knowing why etc. Unfortunately we...

Just an update. I got another meeting with the consulate. Hopefully he'll let me work right away. One of the accountants in charge is sick of the cycle too and told me he's closing the whole thing. I don't know what will happen with Dad. This came out of the blue given the fight prior. Dad might...

I'm trying to take this in but my head is too jumbled right now nothing is sinking in. I can't think straight. I'll come back when I can get my mind to work.

Well my Dad is partially in charge of my trust. Since I haven't been able to hold down a job its my only source of money. It's not much only enough to support me for maybe another year. I am moving to Europe and I informed them that I needed money for my tuition so it can be paid for at least 6...

I've been there a lot. It's time you stop limping through the pain and reach out to someone for help actually healing not just fighting onward. This failure to go on is your souls way of saying that this doesn't work.

In therapy I seem to do this a lot. Sometimes the whole session I'll be in this strange zone of thought. During which I always speak in this really soft child voice. I often get a lisp too. At home not so much. Anyone else do this? Often it feels oddly good.

Well after talking it over I think I'm going to accept it on some level, but pursue normal things with real people. Basically I know I can't stop so no point in attacking myself over it. I have no idea if it is healthy or not. I don't think feeling out of control is good, but I can't claim to be...

I really don't know. I had delusions of being attacked by giant bugs "down there" when I was a child. I don't know if it goes anywhere or if its another dead end after that. I had other stuff happen that were less sexual, but my fetish bothers me so much its hard to think about much other than...

What does it mean to forgive oneself in relation to sexual trauma? When I was 5 or 6 my older sister used to make me take my clothes off and wear these bad outfits. I never fought back or told her to stop. I went along with it, but I had no idea that this thing would happen to me. She was...

Thanks I still feel really bad about posting that and hurting you though. I don't like to do that. I get why you thought that from the posts. It makes sense from the other end. So I'm really really sorry about that post btw I feel inferior all the time too.

Its not your fault. I know its really creepy what I brought up here. I just haven't been doing well with this in therapy. I saw some posts of people quitting on here, but I guess they have worked on other issue. Please please dont beat yourself up over this, but I just don't do well in forums...

no I'm not into that........ erhm I'm canceling my account this is too embarrassing.