Recent content by y5L

I'm always in the upper back right corner of my head... Always holding my knees. It's a safe place.

I work in customer service and am having a harder and harder time faking it. My boss doesn't understand it- especially where I won't answer the "how are you" question. It's just really hard...

I had my first and only ever GYN exam not too long ago because of special stabbing pains and just to make sure I didn't get any STDs or anything from being raped as a 5 year old. I told my PCP that's why I was there, too, which was super helpful because then she was aware of how I might have an...

I made the appointment! It's next week! Yay! Not much time to freak out! ; )

I called and left a message. I think you're right, @Jane.l, it is fear of the unknown. There's a great song by Brett Dennen that has as the chorus "Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know." I think I'll go give it a listen!

I finally called the employee assistance number to get a referral for someone to talk to. That was hard enough. Now I have to actually call the office to make an appointment. I'm not sure why I'm so afraid. I am brave enough to talk to people that are close to me... but they have done all they...

I saw that movie with no idea what it was about. It hit me really hard, too. For me, however, it was a wake up call- I had been avoiding looking at any of my issues and the movie showed me that it is ultimately far better to work through the hard stuff than to keep running from it. But I am...

Yeah I thought it was a weird thing for the doctor to say. He's not my primary care, actually. She is on extended maternity leave, so I get this guy for a while. He also told me next time I wake up convinced someone has broken into the house, I should go check. I suppose that is fairly logical...

These nightmares are wearing on me. I just want them to stop. This time around they are about things unrelated to my trauma. Well, they seem unrelated to my awake mind, but I'm sure in the subconscious there's a connection. I stopped bothering to talk about it with people because it's not...

Thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone!

I am afraid of my own messed up thoughts and feelings- I sometimes have scary urges to hurt others. My closest friends are convinced I wouldn't ever abuse anyone or become violent, but I'm still afraid that those urges will become too strong and I'll act on them.

I also struggle with doubting my memories. The hardest thing for me is that I blocked out my primary trauma until years later, so I thought maybe I had just made it up- surely I wouldn't forget something so big, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to remember it later! Then I learned more...

I'm an INFP as well! Seems to be a lot of similar types on here!

I'm not sure about yesterday being a dream of happiness, but I'll let it slide because I like the rest of it so much. : )

Just under a month into Effexor and I already feel so much better. I'm sleeping better and am having an easier time letting thoughts just be thoughts and not let them take over my whole existence. Obviously there is no miracle pill that will fix everything, but I feel like I've been handed a key...