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I have had to learn to stop taking things personally. He is sick. I do not manufacture drama. I do not feel the need to defend myself when he is being delusional. I know who I am. I have also learned that I am the only one responsible for my happiness. If things were to end, which they very...

Bluntness comes from over a decade of dealing with a partner with PTSD. You have to protect your own mental health. It’s too easy to get sucked into it all.

Supporter here. You are not responsible for her mental health. You cannot fix or do anything to make her better. You cannot do or say the right thing to change all this. Supporter guilt is a codependent trap. This is her. Her CPTSD is just as much a part of her as her eye color. This may be...

Does your ex girlfriend have PTSD?

I hate the “what-if” game… never, ever let yourself go there. Damn, I’m glad we weren’t together before Iraq, because then I’d *know* what “what-if” was like. I’m having a shitty “what-if” day. How can such an awesome person be such a PTSD ass at times?

You just started dating an addict who can’t hold a job, who shoplifts and needs you to support her? I’d say PTSD and misunderstandings are the least of your worries.

It sucks to be the target just because you are the “safe person.”

Yeah…. She needs to figure her money out. You cannot be the bank for two households.

Amen. The right person will respect your boundaries and work at the relationship even if they’re not doing well all the time. If they can’t do that they’re not the right person.

It sucks. The first time he bailed I was frantic. That’s when I had to set my boundaries.

That’s usually a tip off to how he’s feeling… he generally isn’t a raging asshole. The worse he feels, the bigger the asshole.

Maybe it’s the side-effects of being in a PTSD relationship for this long, but I’m mostly numb to insensitive comments. He only says the hurtful stuff when he’s not well, so I take it with a grain of salt. If he did it all the time that’d be another story.

I let him contact me… with him knowing my boundaries. If he wants to be in a relationship with me he can’t just go radio-silence for weeks. If I don’t hear from him I consider the relationship over, and he knows it.

I’d have a good think and decide how long you’re willing to feel like this. You’re allowed your boundaries too.

Trauma therapy sucks. It’s not like other therapies where talking it out is cathartic and makes people feel better. It’s horrid and exhausting, and usually it’s worse before it’s better. Don’t take it personally if he says he doesn’t want to talk to you… he probably doesn’t have the emotional...

There is not much you can do. Isolation sucks for partners. I’m sorry you’re hurting. If it helps, I look at giving my partner space as a loving act. He needs the space to regroup and feel better. I want him to feel better so I don’t take it personally and give him his time. That being said...

There is not much that you can do, except to be consistent. Do what you say, say what you mean, and hope you can win trust. I think when he’s in a good spot my partner trusts me. When he is symptomatic that all goes out the window.

It can be at times. I’ve mostly gotten to the point where I don’t take it personally. However I still have my moments where he wears me out. That’s usually my cue to enjoy some non-PTSD time.

That’s typical. Mine has combat PTSD and he still doesn’t trust me as far as he can kick me. It’s better than it was a decade ago, but I am still most definitely the designated asshole when the juices are flowing.

There are two types of people. People who think cheating is justifiable, and people who think it’s wrong. She doesn’t think it’s wrong. She cheated with 6 men in 2 years. That’s a pattern of behavior.

Sometimes a well-timed “blow it out your ass” does wonders… just saying.

Your feelings are just as valid as hers, even if you’re the “healthy” one. She cheated and there is not an excuse…she felt “safe” so she cheated? Bullshit. Don’t accept behaviors from her that you wouldn’t accept from anybody else. You’re allowed boundaries and dealbreakers, even if your partner...

That’s a good question… one I’d like to know the answer to as well.

My vet indulges in motorcycle therapy too. I used to worry about his safety with speed/risk taking, but he’s a competent rider and hasn’t had my issues. He’s gone for the day, but he feels better when he comes back. Whatever makes him feel better. It’s better than substances or fighting. I get...

That’s his ex, not him. Ex drama, especially with kids, is exhausting. Don’t feed into it. Seriously. She wants drama and attention. If he wanted her he’d be with her, and if kids made men come back there’d be no single moms. He does not need drama right now. Be calm, be steady. It’d be a good...