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Thanks both for your perspective. Sure there’s a lot more to it than what I tried to convey in summary. I’d say that it’s an over-reaction on my part. I’ll leave it alone, cuz you’re both right. I’m not a cat.

Same as @Ronin usually nothing....but mission control module gets activated and I take control of things around me. So, if you’re near, you’ll likely get tasked with something or instructed on something relevant to the moment/flashback but you’ll just think “what the hell, Warrior Chicken is...

Thanks @Lionheart777 I’ll try to give brief background, but I know that I’m not using my logic brain on this so it might come off weird. Other night I’m back from T, and long day at work. Tired. Also probably fed into all this. Was not concentrating when I left in the morning, and forgot to...

I don’t want to hijack this @Lionheart777 but I could use some help in finding my voice at the moment with my Supporter. But I’ll ask if it’s ok first. If you’d prefer I start a new thread, absolutely no problem, I will. ?

Sorry if this is off putting, I tell those around me (coworkers) in those kinds of situations that I’m fascinated by the medical mayhem and gore. Inside though, and only just accepting that I’m with @Cypress.....alone and unattached, alive or dead I think about the whole body, the soul where...

You’re not alone. I understand completely as though I’ve written that myself. I don’t know for sure about my childhood, not there yet. Brain seems to be working backwards thru my life incidents. It’s been explained to me that the freeze comes when we are unable to escape the situation or...

I have issues with people behind me, stand where I can see you and I can mitigate the threat you are! Even if you're not a threat, I can track whether you might become one unexpectedly. Duh, lol. There's a photo I have from my work, it's a group of about 15 of us at a DMZ......They're all...

For me, before starting to learn about ptsd after dx, I had no idea that my best coping mechanism and the one that ensured I remained highly functional at work.....was dissociation. At times I actually think both can be effective strategies, they have been for me. When they go into the...

My T/pdoc has also prescribed propanolol but I have trouble with any kind of drug/med. i won’t get into why but I know what happens to me with alcohol and occasionally I take Ativan. Anyhow, none of that matters. Just wanted to thank @hithere for asking and @Cypress for responding. Cuz it did...

@The Albatross thanks for sharing that info. I’m gonna take a look as well. @Cypress much of what you have written about your situation with: - needing to function at a high level, - ensuring others continue to trust your abilities (this being an essential piece to all this) - but also being...

I’m told that humans are social animals too...and with that, it’s further evidence we must not be human since socializing is so corrosive for us ?

Tricky situation @Cypress....that’s not helpful I know, but just want to indicate that I have a level of understanding. I have been in similar situations after being diagnosed and completely make sense of the ability to function at a high level while working and then collapse when you have...

When you can’t find the right way to deal with challenging flashbacks, and the only way thru you can find is mixing substances. How do you make it thru and stop that? What else stops the flashbacks? Breathing, exercise, grounding, nature, doesn’t touch it.

That makes sense to me and thanks for mentioning it. As you are aware of it, do you ever practice pushing that avoidance loop away? I could see having to work hard to make sure it doesn’t take over. It often makes so much sense to me to protect from cumulative stress to keep symptoms down...

That’s a move!! Did you have trouble deciding or regrets? Did the job you left fill most of your time and was the new job enough to keep you occupied? So glad that you were able to get to a place that gives you both that. This was my realization as well for the first time in my life I had a...

I’ve lived in zombie mode for most of my adult life, using work as an amazing distraction and coping tool. Recently though, I’ve started to realize that and also how much the noise/crowdedness/unexpectedness of the city increases my stress and ptsd symptoms. Making the change (and ptsd sure...

Needed away from humans.....found some friends.

Having one of those off kelter days at my end....just wanted to say welcome and lots of good people here who understand. I understand too. Sorry, not much to share today just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

Safest place I know is dissociation. But I’m also told it’s not living, just existing. Is there something/someone that makes you want to do more than just exist?

Thanks @Neverthesame! There’s another reason why the forums are so good. I never thought of that. It does help to ask about the things that affect us.

I mentioned it to my pdoc who indicated that it's likely linked to high levels of stress for me. Basically, what I understand is.....reduce stress and it won't happen as much. But in the interim, the only way I can manage it is not eating while at work cuz I can't gauge where my stress level is...

Not sure what area this should be posted in...... This is something that has been an off and on again problem for me for several years now, but it's not constant so I never bothered mentioning it before. If I'm eating (usually happens at work) my throat will actually close in the first few...

Some incredible experience and suggestions/support here... for sure! I don’t have focus to read it all through. Sorry. I will Why do you bake? Not for you. What have I seen/read about how you are, what motivates, what drives @Friday? It’s not self serving...EVER. It’s about others, always...

I haven’t been able to read through everyone’s posts but wanted to say yes...what you explain makes sense to me and I’m with you. I also have trouble with breathing but just push through all that and don’t take value from it. I’m trying to learn better tactics. I had to stop breathing to avoid...

I did notice after a moment that it was in the sleep & nightmares forum. Just wanted to let you know that I cared ? If that’s ok.