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For as long as I can remember I derived my worth from my external successes: perfect grades (I cried the first time I got an answer wrong. I was in 4th grade), how much I read, what I produced. Like, even as a child, although then it was more about what I LOVED to do: what could I do productive...

@Ronin I have naproxen and I have medical cannabis, but I haven't used either today. I haven't eaten in hours I keep forgetting so I'm going to go get some food. Use the meds when I get back I think is a good idea. I definitely need to drink too. I've been drinking tea all day because it's...

I was put on a new birth control to help with my severe chronic pelvic pain (they think it's endometriosis) that I only have a period every 3 months. This week I start the "period week", I think it's tomorrow. Last week I had a severe pain flare that's just sort of lifted, and since last...

I'm thinking now some of the reactions I'm having are PMS, complicating my PTSD symptoms. I've had more flashbacks in the past week and panic attacks than I have in months. I'm on a new pill they thought would help with endometriosis but wow, I feel terrible. I've started dissociating so badly...

Thank you @Freida ! No ones been able to identify the pain exactly, but I do have torn things in my pelvis and hips and impingements. Just my entire pelvis is injured from over exercise as a teenager. Pubis symphysis pops out of place, hips pop out of place, and I also get what feels like fibro...

Thank you @Ronin ! I’m going to try for the next few days to just rest up well. I have exams and school but it isn’t too hard fortunately!!

The good part is the thing I found out I'm really passionate about and want to do actually accommodates my pain better than the things I "thought" I wanted to do for so long: politics, writing ads, international policy and working for the State Department, all long hours and inflexible jobs. I...

Thank you @Friday ! That makes a lot of sense. And puts stuff into perspective. I'm usually really good at recovering but I feel like this time is just a lot. It's a lot at once. I didn't sleep well last night and am even worse off today. I can't even write about it really. Just totally bad...

I was doing so well, and just this year started and I keep getting thrown off and I feel so useless. I was managing things and balancing things and then I had a pain flare due to some chronic illnesses and injuries this weekend that was so bad I wanted to kill myself (I'm not actively suicidal...

Thank you @tacit that’s really helpful! And makes more logical sense than stuff about “attracting these people” which I see a lot in like new age stuff. Whenever I hit a boundary or create a new one I panic. I think it’s because I didn’t have them before and don’t think I deserve them...

Thank you @Ronin that makes sense! It’s weird bc like cartoony violence like in super hero movies doesn’t bother me. It’s REAL violence that I know happened to someone during some time

Yes, he was my first boyfriend. He was nice at first, but then he wasn't. I stayed with him because for some reason I thought what he did was normal, even though it made me feel horrible. I had never really hooked up with anyone before him and all my friends said they were uncomfortable when...

I may have Ehlers Danlos (I've been referred to a doctor by my orthopedic....and a three year waitlist) and the pain I experience some days is excruciating. But every time I miss something I feel terrible too. I hate cancelling plans but I'm also always terrified I'm going to be in pain if I do...

I'm hoping this makes sense I'm in total "overdrive" with anxiety right now. My T says this is pretty normal but I was wondering if anyone had experiences with this (and I feel strangely like I've posted about this before but forget....yay brain cognition issues). Do you feel like you're...

That's a great point thank you @Mee ! I'll look that up, that sounds like a great piece.

This is a good idea!! Thank you! I think I'm also getting nervous because I'm in my safe place at home and I'm about to move a thousand miles away.

Thank you @somerandomguy I think I'm going to take a step back!! I told myself last night because I was panicking lying in bed over and over that "it's not my fault" and "I was a victim" and that calmed me down a bit, just to process that. My therapist can be kind of new age of like "we choose...