Search results

@Ronin - ??? I actually have two firearms myself. But in accordance with our gun laws they are locked in a keyed safe, with the ammunition and bolts locked in a separately keyed compartment. ?

@LuckiLee - we don't talk about it much these days. He agrees its unlikely but not impossible and I know he worries A LOT about me on the nights he isn't home.

@Gs172003 - I sat in the witness box in a court room and told them about specific threats he made to go to a particular place on a particular day and shoot as many people as he could dead and then suicide by cop. The court found him not guilty of every one of 11 domestic violence charges laid...

New guy is Army as well. So pretty well trained. ? I don't bother with carrying the knife on the nights he is home. I've done self defence and muay thai kickboxing for years. But I'm not dumb enough to think I (at 5 ft) can take on a 5"11" infantry soldier who outweighs me by about 25kgs...

@Ronin and @LuckiLee - I've always felt that it's unlikely. Surely you don't spend $50,000 to get off criminal charges and then go and attack that person? The local police are well aware of him. If anything happens to me, he will be the prime suspect. My concern is that IF something - like...

To the best of my knowledge he is not in any form of treatment. He doesn't drink. All of the things he did to me he did stone cold sober. My current partner is home 5 nights out of 7 so most of the time I feel pretty safe. Its those two nights that sometimes cause me a bit of discomfort...

Thank you to everyone for your input! I really appreciate people taking their time to discuss this. So, yes I am an ex-supporter of a combat veteran with PTSD. He is also, according to a qualified psychologist who knew him and I socially as a couple, a sociopath with psychopathic tendencies...

@joeylittle - not ridiculous at all. Sadly pepper spray is illegal here. I’m aware that a knife is not likely to be much help but I’m dammed if I’ll be caught without any ability to fight back. Even if I only manage to scratch him with it!

Yes. I’m working full time. I go to the supermarket. He lives in the next town over. Went to the supermarket there last week. Was very nervous and uncomfortable. But still went! It’s at night when I’m alone that I get scared.

Legally? I’m in my own backyard. I’m not out in public armed with a knife. Practically? A u-turn??? He’s a combat veteran. If he’s in my backyard in the dark he’s here to kill me. I’ll be fighting for my life not doing u-turns. But yes rationally he hasn’t come after me and so far I haven’t...

I've had no contact from my abusive ex since the criminal court case in April. My therapist seems to think its a little strange that I take a sturdy knife with me when I go outside at night to take my large dogs to the toilet. How do you stop looking over your shoulder when someone who has the...

My guess is that it happens but societal attitudes mean that its not talked about. Eg: high school kid groomed and sexually assaulted by teacher. If the teacher is male and the student is female society is horrified - he is a predator/deviant and she is a victim. If the teacher is female...

Be careful not to attribute all the bad times to your sufferer’s ptsd. I did that for far too long. If your safety is compromised get out now! If there have been no good times for a long time and you can’t see any changes coming then you need to decide whether you want to stay. After all, if...

I am going back to therapy. I’m very fortunate because I can access it for free because he is a veteran. Logically, I think I’m pretty safe. He had a new girlfriend. I don’t think he wants to come anywhere near me because he knows the police would be all over him if he did. I also think he is...

I left him just over a year ago. I've had nightmares on and off. After the verdict was handed down in the trial (he got off all 11 charges, the protection order was dropped and they gave him back his firearm), I had a couple of nightmares but then I was really good for a couple of months...

I have one that was hand made specifically for me by a friend who's father was Cherokee. I feel like it helped a bit with getting to sleep but I think its more because it comforts me. Lately I have been having nightmares again so I don't know...

As expected the system cocked up. He got off everything, the protection order was withdrawn and he gets his firearms back. Surprisingly I am ok with it because I always knew it was the likely outcome. He spent a fortune on a very famous barrister who made out I was crazy and misunderstood him...

People talk about books being life-changing. That one really was for me. It was the beginning of the inkling of the thought that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't about his PTSD and was about choices he consciously made to treat me worse than he treated his dogs. It should be mandatory reading...

@Never_falter2 - I reported the abuse and he has been charged with 11 counts of domestic violence. His firearms were seized. The court case is on 1 and 2 April 2019. The police have told me that even if he is found not guilty of all charges and even if the AVO is set aside they will write to...

I strongly recommend a book called Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. It explains that abusers behave the way they do because of the way they THINK not because of the way they FEEL. I made so many excuses for my ex because I saw him as damaged, hurt, depressed person. And a lot of the...

If there was an occasion which constituted a Criterion A event then it is primary PTSD. In my case there were two occasions where I thought he was dead, one occasion where I talked him down from suicide - and that was touch and go over some fifteen minutes - and one occasion where he pointed a...

Hugs! I strongly recommend counselling if you can possibly access some. There are so many emotions to process. Feeling foolish for not seeing it earlier, feeling hurt that someone could deliberately take so much from you without giving anything back, feeling angry that you've been taken for a...

Yup. Hear you on this one. If it helps, I have seen my ex moving on with a new woman within literally weeks of me leaving as validation that it is NOT - and was NEVER - me that was the problem. The fact that he treats women as replaceble is evidence of that. Hugs!

I'm too close to the legal system to have any faith that it will do anything other than cock up. However, I also plan to sue him in the civil courts for the intentional torts of assault and intimation. And at the least it will cost him a fortune in legal fees! PS - @Friday - now that I no...

Just an update for those outside the private supporters area - I reported the domestic violence to the police. He was charged with 11 offences - some common assaults and some intimidations. He has pleaded not guilty to all of them and the matter has been set down for a 2 day trial on 1 and 2...