Dom Violence When do you stop looking over your shoulder?

[Sideways]

Yeah, you’ll notice that while I’m optimistic about your recovery prospects, the best I could muster for your ex was some hope!

3 nasty looking dogs is a pack. That’s a whole lot of protection around you. I didn’t realise you had a new partner - so good to hear you moving on with your life:hug:

 

[Gs172003]

I hope everything calms down for you @Sighs

 

[Ronin]

I keep coming back to thinking... what all makes going after you too much hassle for him to bother with, @Sighs?

In terms of cross purposes - whod automatically suspect him, witnesses, people that know of your situation and would be issue to him, things like that. Since I grok you are thinking of immediate physical defense, but he seems to be worried about his reputation enough / if anything in social connections might not be useful to you?

 

[LuckiLee]

That ^^^ and he's probably too busy tormenting his new victim.

 

[Sighs]

@Ronin and @LuckiLee - I've always felt that it's unlikely. Surely you don't spend $50,000 to get off criminal charges and then go and attack that person? The local police are well aware of him. If anything happens to me, he will be the prime suspect.

My concern is that IF something - like his new victim dumping him - which is beyond my control, tips him into a murder/suicide scenario. He used to talk about "going on a 3 state killing spree" if he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Just talk? Probably.

A far as risk assessment goes my view is that it is unlikely but the consequences are catastrophic. My (limited) training in risk assessment says that even if the likelihood is low when the consequences are catastrophic risk mitigation should be used if possible. Sigh!

 

[Sideways]

mitigation should be used if possible.

You have excellent mitigation in place though - you’ve changed address, have someone else home 5 out of 7 nights per week, and 3 don’t-mess-with-me dogs. That’s a whole lot of mitigation, yeah?

 

[LuckiLee]

Have you ever taken a self defense class, @Sighs? Maybe you and new guy can take one together? They're empowering (and fun).

 

[Sighs]

New guy is Army as well. So pretty well trained. ? I don't bother with carrying the knife on the nights he is home.

I've done self defence and muay thai kickboxing for years. But I'm not dumb enough to think I (at 5 ft) can take on a 5"11" infantry soldier who outweighs me by about 25kgs.

I feel like I'm doing what can be done and getting on with my life a best I can.

Thanks again for all the input! Much appreciated!

 

[LuckiLee]

I know you can't take him on but it could be the difference of you getting away from him. He wouldn't expect you to be able to defend yourself properly.

I'm glad you have new guy with you. What does he say about your fears?

Keep us posted.
XO

 

[Gs172003]

@Ronin and @LuckiLee - I've always felt that it's unlikely. Surely you don't spend $50,000 to get off criminal charges and then go and attack that person? The local police are well aware of him. If anything happens to me, he will be the prime suspect.

My concern is that IF something - like his new victim dumping him - which is beyond my control, tips him into a murder/suicide scenario. He used to talk about "going on a 3 state killing spree" if he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. Just talk? Probably.

A far as risk assessment goes my view is that it is unlikely but the consequences are catastrophic. My (limited) training in risk assessment says that even if the likelihood is low when the consequences are catastrophic risk mitigation should be used if possible. Sigh!

Have you ever told anybody that he has threatened that? As many mass killings as we have had here in the states, my first reaction is to take that seriously.

 

[Sighs]

@Gs172003 - I sat in the witness box in a court room and told them about specific threats he made to go to a particular place on a particular day and shoot as many people as he could dead and then suicide by cop. The court found him not guilty of every one of 11 domestic violence charges laid against him, lifted the AVO and gave him his firearms back.

If he does do something I know the blood of those victims (including myself) will be on the hand of that magistrate not mine!

 

[Sighs]

@LuckiLee - we don't talk about it much these days. He agrees its unlikely but not impossible and I know he worries A LOT about me on the nights he isn't home.