Dom Violence When do you stop looking over your shoulder?

[LuckiLee]

I would think it came out at his trial. She was on the witness stand for hours and hours.

 

[Ronin]

like his new victim dumping him

Wouldnt the logical thing be go first after that vic, which could sound off alarms & give you evac time to somewhere safe?

Edited: Ok, maybe not, so to now...

Those two nights, do you have to be home? I mean, could you have somewhere safe to be at least on one of them, somewhere socially engaging & relaxing & interesting, instead of home worried, at least for a time until things become more stable?

 

[LuckiLee]

Do you have a security system set up on your doors and windows?

I don't want to feed your fears but if you have an alarm system it may make you more comfortable when new guy isn't home.

I'm gonna ask J what he thinks tomorrow. (He's sleeping like a loud snoring baby right now?)

 

[Gs172003]

@Gs172003 - I sat in the witness box in a court room and told them about specific threats he made to go to a particular place on a particular day and shoot as many people as he could dead and then suicide by cop. The court found him not guilty of every one of 11 domestic violence charges laid against him, lifted the AVO and gave him his firearms back.

If he does do something I know the blood of those victims (including myself) will be on the hand of that magistrate not mine!

Lord God that's scary. And you're right. You did all you could do.

 

[Ronin]

& since where ya at even pepper sprays are illegal, then I supposse tasers are totally out of question, right?

 

[Sighs]

@Ronin - ???

I actually have two firearms myself. But in accordance with our gun laws they are locked in a keyed safe, with the ammunition and bolts locked in a separately keyed compartment. ?

 

[unbrokenn]

Believe me, I still look over my shoulder all the time. This isn’t weird at all. This is normal and is part of your normal response to such an abnormal circumstance you’ve unfortunately had to withstand (which I apologize for, by the way. You don’t deserve that.)
You are ready to stop looking when you are ready to.
The moment you feel like the world behind you is safe is when you will stop looking.
I’ve stopped looking, but when I get super anxious I begin to again as if to protect myself. Don’t judge yourself for this, this is normal and this is okay. I’d talk to your therapist about doing some exposure therapy for this if you’d be comfortable.

 

[talon]

I've had no contact from my abusive ex since the criminal court case in April. My therapist seems to think its a little strange that I take a sturdy knife with me when I go outside at night to take my large dogs to the toilet. How do you stop looking over your shoulder when someone who has the abilty to kill you may want you dead?

Without more information this is a difficult one . Whilst some abusers might get the message others may not . Carrying a knife is not a good idea and could get you in trouble with the law as a client of mine discovered she carrying a knife whilst i was in hospital having an op and was stopped by police . The 2nd important fact is he may disarm you then he is more dangerous to you. Maybe a friend can walk with you or walk your dogs for you . Vary the times and ensure you are not out too late. Discuss with the police if you feel he may still be a threat as you know him best . Large dogs may also deter him as most are protective . Be sensible and ditch the knife and take care of yourself . It will take time and if there is a possibility to move to a new neighbourhood then take the opportunity to start afresh

 

[Sighs]

@ROBERT TALON The information is there already in this thread. I'm on my own property. It is not illegal to carry a knife on my own property. He is more dangerous than me even when he has only his bare hands and I have a knife. I'm not walking my dogs to exercise them. I'm taking them outside my house late at night so they can pee before we all go to bed. I can hardly have a friend come over every time I do that. The local police are well aware of the situation. I did move to a new neighbourhood.