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Thanks for this! Reading the history, it seems to only be targeting the common events so it makes sense why not every potential childhood trauma would be incorporated.

One room for improvement would be to have a separate question about sexual assaults. My memory could be failing me but I recall that there was one question about sexual abuse with someone older. My experience happened with someone the same age but still had adverse effects on me emotionally and...

I’ve been having dreams of all the things I fear on repeat lately. I find myself not able to relax in my daily life and just crashing out from the exhaustion. Feelings constantly in the background no matter how much I try to ground myself in the present. But I just read that when your...

It told you? Maybe I just glossed over it but I don’t recall seeing that.

I saw in a video that when caregivers don’t express guilt or apologies then kids end up with those feelings instead. I wonder if that explains the unexplained constant shame and need to apologize I feel. In addition to them shaming me constantly, they themselves never apologized for the things...

I think my mind is stuck in the past going through every mistake: every embarrassing or shameful moment, every anger inducing moment. I wonder if it’s doing this as a form of reflection so I don’t make the same mistakes again. But reliving it constantly is tiring and almost guarantees it...

An update on my previous post: I recently found myself being attracted to someone for the first time in a while. I was kind of taken aback by it and wanted to demonize the feeling until I realized what drew me to them. They seemed really kind and attentive. They also made me feel like I would...

HealthyGamerGG on Dissociation I don’t remember how I came across this channel on YouTube but this particular video really helped me understand my dissociation and see connecting myself in a new light. Maybe it’ll help some of you too. It’s a bit long I’ve been listening to it gradually or in...

I finally finished "Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists". The last book I read on trauma I skipped the section about relationships but now I'm thinking about coming back to it. Relationships are huge stressor and trigger for me. I'm stuck in the...

OMG! How could I forget? Pine cones and wood scents are sooo good. I love anything warm smelling.

I have an allergy to fragrance that gets triggered every so often. But when I can tolerate fragrance I love: Baked good smells, especially with vanilla Rose Fresh linen Laundry detergent, can surprisingly always tolerate scented softeners and detergents Lavender Neroli Orange Blossom Tropical...

It sounds like you’ve had a lot of difficult things happen at once. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad and cry about it. Maybe to lessen the spells you can allow yourself time to feel the sadness and cry it out so they aren’t so random. You could also try putting some space between your emotions...

Shame, lots of it, constantly. Sigh

My default mode with shame is to deny or repress it. This was definitely modeled for me as a child but I also developed that so I could do the things I wanted without feeling the shame of my family’s disparaging comments. But the repressed shame is there in mind in the background most of the...

Not what I’m saying. I just remembered in previous posts that @Dark.Green.Feathers mentioned other times where he had thoughts of being assaulted again but it wasn’t the perp but other people. I was just trying to say the possibility of the assault happening again is low and the probability of...

I wonder if part of the reason I’m attached to my anger is because it shows that I’m starting to care about myself. It’s the evidence that I have strong feelings towards myself. Makes me wonder if I retraumatize myself just so I can feel like I love myself by getting angry about it. What I...

As I recall, your abuse was by a woman, right? I know my mind does this thing where it will up the anti of the bad things that have happened. It’s like it knows what will trigger me and will choose to show me those exact things. You don’t have to do either. As @arfie said, you can simply combat...

I’m realizing that I actually hate myself. I thought I loved myself. I wanted the best for myself and to have good things in my life and to be good. But looking at the definition, I definitely hate myself for the inner turmoil and conflicting emotions and I still have an aversion to my emotions...

Just acknowledging that things have been hard and that it’s hard to do certain things lately made me feel relief. I think I’ve been beating myself up about things being easy or that things should be easy. But they’re not. They might be easy for people who don’t have to deal with the CPTSD or...

I feel like I have oblige the wants and needs of others because I don’t respect my own. Listening to Crappy Childhood Fairy, she mentioned this. Maybe certain parts of me don’t deserve to be shamed and hidden away. Maybe I don’t need to deprive myself from connecting with others. Maybe it’s not...

This site! I feel so much lighter after being here.

It’s hard to convince myself I’m not a failure. Looking at the definitions I know that they don’t apply to me. I know I may not be competent at certain things and that I can make mistakes due to poor judgment. But that’s sometimes. I’m not useless and there are things I’m successful at or have...

Shopping mall discounts! 🛍️🛒

I think I hold a lot of shame for believing certain things and falling in with certain communities. When I think about it, the things they said made no sense and were so contradictory, but I just automatically believed. I know it was a response from childhood. I was taught to never question...

India has the longest constitution in the world with 146,385 words, a preamble and 470 articles grouped into 25 parts with 12 schedules and five appendices. The US Constitution is the shortest and oldest constitution still in effect.