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Yeah, the 6 month honeymoon period seems to be pretty common..if you stick around on this forum, you will see it. Same with my ex. After 6 months and him saying "I love you" in an IM is when things got weird. He got cold and distant, and then came up with very weird problems he supposedly had...

Yeah..talk about mixed messages. I felt like my ex was giving me mixed messages, too. :(

Yeah, no. I know for sure I am not BPD but thx. Um..that's not what I'm doing. The issues I've had pre-date my ex. By a long shot. And no, I don't even THINK he's a "horrible excuse for a human." I just think he has a LOT of work to do in therapy.

Yeah, I was with an abusive guy for a year, always rationalizing his behavior. Poor thing! He was so abused by his parents! That's why he acts like this! Trauma is an explanation but not an excuse. As I'm learning from this forum, not everyone with trauma, acts like this.

Ok, here are my thoughts. Yes, I do think he probably wants to get back with you at the end of the summer. BUT that's 3-4 months out. I'll be honest, I don't think I would wait that long for someone. Also, you never know if he's gonna suddenly change his mind. It's entirely up to you, and...

Good luck..keep us posted!

Thx for explaining.

You said you're too scared to approach him about this. When you say he will flare again, what happens?

No. It's not just that. I have PTSD from the drug reaction that put me in the hospital for 2 weeks. Plus, being dumped because of it. I'm also a breast cancer survivor. And yes, I do believe you can get PTSD from being emotionally and verbally abused, which I was, in an awful rebound rel'ship...

It's interesting..I often wonder if the 'let's be friends" is to sort of assauge that person's guilt or discomfort. I've not been able to be friends with an ex until a lot of time passed. My ex said a couple of times, that we should "transition into being friends." I told him my feelings were...

In my case, my exhusband dumped me when i was in the hospital and almost died of a rare drug reaction..these were meds he forced me to take. So that was a pretty traumatic abandonment. Served me with divorce papers straight out of the hospital while I was recovering. I was suicidal and it took...

What did you say to leave the door open? Yeah, that's how I felt..I sent my ex a brief text yesterday. I asked, if this is really what he wants? Us cut off from each other..I get it, we trigger each other. Why couldn't we work on it, instead of running and hiding? Also, he had said it seemed...

My exhusband abandoned and divorced me when I was sick in the hospital from a drug reaction (after 3 yrs of a horrible panic disorder being treated the totally wrong way, and him forcing me into treatment, etc.) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment, Part I: An Overview I knew it was a...

All i know is I just miss him so much. I miss the guy who makes me laugh harder than anyone. Who truly gets me. Who would go have adventures with me at a moment's notice. Who would cuddle with me and watch cheesy cult movies. Or sing snippets of 90s songs together like we were at karaoke...

IMO some people don't even get better WITH treatment. I think it depends on the type of treatment. For myself, I've been to some horrible therapists. The therapy that worked best for me was cognitive behavioral therapy. It had gotten to the point where I'd just do CBT exercises in my head. CBT...

Also, I think other reasons these breakups can be devastating are--1) you feel like the reason you're separating, really doesn't have much to do with your compatability, or how you feel about each other. It's so much about the past. and 2) the separation often comes out of nowhere. Things can be...

I think it's beyond the heart..it also creates new neural pathways in the brain that means those of us who've suffered trauma often react automatically.

Meh, I dunno. Almost sounds like he's keeping you on the hook, just in case. I'd only tolerate that for a certain amount of time. At some point, he needs to expect that you deserve to be able to move on.

If you look at Kubler-Ross's stages of grief, acceptance is the last one. So..sounds like you've come pretty far, actually. I'm still not at that point.

The locked door thing--even on a very small level, I have what you mention. Back in my college days, my bf and I were hanging out in our old dorms during summer break..for nostalgia's sake, I guess? We ended up using a bathroom on the first floor. Well, for some reason, the bathroom locked from...

I'm sorry. {hugs} I bet he's really grappling with that. Does he really wanna blow up a 20 yr friendship? I mean, that's a LONG time, and good friends are hard to come by. But yeah maybe you are better off, focusing on yourself for now. And if he DOES come back, then commit yourself to...

Just like I KNOW every guy I date is trying to hook up w other women behind my back, and will abandon me as soon as things get tough. :( While I was dating my ex, I was so proud of myself, cuz I used cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to battle those nagging thoughts. Like, if I was on FB...

So true. I'm pretty sure that's what my ex is doing. He said he didn't want to build something with me just to deal with his pain from the past. I took that to mean he thought he was sparing me heartache. And you raise a good point. Shouldn't i get to decide what i can and can't handle?

I'm so so sorry.

She's moving to deal with a sick family member. It just happens to be close to her bf.