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I've been on both sides now. It's exhausting on both. I can't stand when my brain reacts like someone is gonna hurt me or leave me, when they're not.

Yeah, if someone says "I just need space to think through things"..that's a lot different than "let's take a relationship break where we're effectively broken up so we can try other people out." It doesn't sound to me like he reacted that way out of not caring about you. Sounds like it's...

So sorry to hear that. I get what you're saying. I'm self-aware enough to realize that my stupid kneejerk abandonment issues only result in me getting EXACTLY THE OUTCOME I'D BEEN FEARING ALL ALONG. And then of course, you get on this treadmill of self-blame. Feeling stupid. Not liking...

Absolutely. Being ignored is awful. And your therapist is right. It takes however long it takes. Unresolved relationships w/out closure..those are the worst and hardest to get over. And in our cases, when our exes behaved in totally confusing, inexplicable ways..makes it VERY hard to get over...

Been listening to a lot of Jakob Dylan today. So many of his songs are appropriate for what a lot of us are going through.

Thank you, luv. I've been through so many breakups..it just gets discouraging and I tend to be fatalistic. I start thinking I'll never meet anyone who's good for me. But I know I'll get through this, eventually.

How long ago did she bolt? You really seem to still not be over it. I get it, but i really hope you are being good to yourself and doing things to help your own healing. Im not in therapy, but I have been in the past. I just am acutely aware of my own irrational reactions and impulsive...

I definitely would like to vent today. I've moved from the "grieving" part of dealing with my breakup to "anger." I think I hit bottom with my grief yesterday. I was somewhat dissociative. Just really out of it..walking around in a fog. I forced myself to go out to dinner with friends. During...

As someone who has PTSD myself..that is exactly what I've always done. Sometimes to my detriment, actually. My fight or flight led me to break up..then i regret it pretty quickly. I did the same w my most recent ex cuz he ignored my messages but i could see he read them. I know now that my...

Thank you. *eyeroll* of course I don't think that

Whew..isnt that the truth. My ex IS in therapy, and still did all of the above to me. :(

I tend to agree. Although, I know how men can be, when you start talking to their exes. It freaks them out.

Ok what about the 2nd ex, tho? I'm starting to wonder if he projected onto her, from the first ex.

Ugh. That's truly awful. Well no wonder he doesn't know which end is up.

Hojay raises a good point. My ex said I was abusive for breaking up w him. I admit I was harsh and impulsive, but I don't think it was abusive. I did not insult him..i did not malign his character..i just said him ignoring me was unacceptable and asked him to retrieve his belongings. I...

I believe she said she is also moving to be a caregiver to family. Btw i'm not sure if i could handle a relationship where the 2 abusive exes are still in the picture. I realize they have to be, cuz of kids but..that is something I would keep an eye on..how does he handle them..how are his...

He's known you for 20 yrs. But he still projects. That just goes to show how irrational these emotions can be. :(

I understood what you meant, but maybe a better word is "projection." I too felt like my ex was projecting his ex who abused him onto me. Because a lot of his accusations didn't make much sense. Although, I will say, he at least said 'it seems to me like'...to sort of cover the bases.

She MAY have done it for publicity, or maybe she did it to raise awareness..hard to say

Brain Scan Can Tell PTSD Apart from Traumatic Brain Injury

I am so sorry to hear that. I just got out of a relationship w someone I still love very dearly whose fiancee also died traumatically, after they broke up. I suffer from PTSD myself, but it's more PTRD--trauma from abuse I suffered in past romantic relationships, and nothing as traumatic as...

Yup. I did the same thing..sent a screenshot of our last convo to one of my closest friends..whose take on it was that it sounded like my ex's garbled interpretation of what a therapist may have said. Also..could not see any manipulation on my part. My ex said he thought i was trying to get...

Yeah, right around the time my ex started distancing himself, he got hit with a lot of work. He made it clear to me from the start that his work is what keeps him sane, so that takes priority. I guess I felt some of that distance he put on me, post-breakup, was because he was getting so busy...

I think sharing something with you is promising. I understand hanging onto every little thing. It means he's thinking about you, at least.

Yeah, it is really traumatic. I've been through some bad breakups, but this feels worse than the rest. It's comparable to my divorce, and I'm not sure why. I just really felt a deep connection with him like I hadn't felt SINCE my marriage. And yes, like Fleabug's ex, my guy was amazing, sweet...